CALIGULA (1979) Review

Directed by: Tinto Brass

Starring: Malcolm McDowell, Peter O'Toole, Guido Mannari

What can be said about Caligula? Chances are if you have heard of this you would probably know of its lavish catalogue of perversions. Sweet Jesus everything gets covered here; incest, pissing, necrophilia, fisting, etc. To call this film flat out pornography would not do it justice even in its slightest. The film does have a good deal of hardcore sex but the sex is not the subject matter of the piece although that being said there are lots of unnecessary orgy scenes. 

The cast is exceptional. There is a line up of legendary British actors including Peter O Toole, Helen Mirren, Malcom Mcdowell to name a few. The set designs are amazingly detailed, costumes are exquisite and Malcom Mcdowell's role as the tyrannical emperor Caligula is brilliantly realised. This is an amazing film and an oddity in the history of adult cinema.

The story begins with the ill emperor Tiberius in his last days. His grandson Caligula is awaiting his death as he is heir to the throne. Caligula's confidante Macron speeds the process by strangling Tiberius. So it begins. As the power and influence goes to Caligula's head during his rein his sanity takes a turn for the worst. He sends many of his senators to the gallows for no particular reason along with his brother and his friend Macron. He also had an excessive and decadent life style that was rendering Rome in debt. In one scene Caligula decides to consolidate Rome's surplus by running an imperial brothel with the senators wives as the whores. Which of course pisses the senators off. The rest of the film is the undoing of Caligula as his senators turn their backs on him and plot his eventual bloody demise. 

Although this film is considered pornography it has some brilliant cinematography which definitely lifts this film out of gutter to some where between low art and high art. I think the only thing that held this film back is the unnecessary scenes of hardcore sex. It seems they drag on for too long. If it was toned down a fraction I believe that the public and critics alike would have received it better. I'm talking about Palme d'or material. 

For those of who are familiar with the HBO television series Rome, you would find it hard to believe that this film is LESS gratuitous than that puddle of excrement. 

As a period piece this film is exceptional. 

Although massively unsuccessful in America (the market it was aimed at) it must have had some fanfare in Italy as it spawned an unofficial sequel. There are many different cuts and versions of this film. The 160 minute cut is the full film as its creators intended for viewing. The other cuts vary between 80-100 minutes which I'm sure would have been a butchered bloody mess. Mcdowell has since proclaimed that he is embarrassed about the film. That's a bit harsh. If I was him I'd be more embarrassed for being in piles of shit like Class of 1999 and Cyborg 3.

This film deserves to be watched and appreciated in its entirety. 

This might be stretching the friendship but I'm going to give this film 4/5 stars

MALABIMBA THE MALICIOUS WHORE (1979) Review

Directed by: Andrea Bianchi

Starring: Katell Laennec, Mariangela Giordano, Patrizia Webley, Enzo Fisichella

I'm not really all that familiar with these type of erotic Eurosleaze films but that's something I've decided to rectify, and what better film to begin with than one I heard described as an erotic, sleazy, Italian EXORCIST? The fact that it's directed by Andrea Bianchi (BURIAL GROUND) pretty much sealed the deal for me.

MALABIMBA opens with a séance as a family attempt to contact the spirit of Andrea's (Fisichella) deceased wife. As soon as the medium contacts a spirit however things start to get a little crazy. A woman's blouse is torn off exposing a large pair of breasts (of which we get to see a lot more of later in the film), a man's fly is pulled open and things start tumbling and flying off of shelves. A malevolent spirit is unleashed and makes its way to the resident nurse Sister Sofia (Giordano) in an attempt to possess her. Having been successfully resisted however the spirit makes its way to the younger and more vulnerable Bimba, the daughter of Andrea. Shortly thereafter Bimba begins showing some disturbing sexual tendencies which shock and disgust her family who have no idea she is possessed by an evil spirit.

The plot is very loose and there's good reason for that. This movie is first and foremost a sleazy sexploitation flick and the 'plot' is just an excuse to bind together a bunch of sex scenes. There is some unimportant subplot shoved in there somewhere but it too is also just an excuse to see more tits, pussy and cock.

Nais (Webley) is the busty woman whose bare chest we are treated to in the opening minutes of the movie. Her character is a slutty seductress who is basically willing to fuck any man she can, and since her husband is paralyzed and wheelchair-bound she has her sexy eye set on his brother Andrea. For most of her time on screen she wears little to no clothing and she also supplies a fair portion of the hardcore scenes. And when I say hardcore I mean it. The X-rated version has plenty of up close and personal penetration shots, masturbation and fellatio. They are more explicit than a movie like THEY CALL HER ONE EYE but somehow slightly less jarring which is probably due to their context (all of the hardcore scenes in ONE EYE are basically rape).

The possessed girl Bimba (Katell Laennec in her one and only film role ever) wanders around throughout the film either spying on people mid-coitus, seducing people (both male and female) and pleasuring herself with various plush toys. She is also involved in an incestuous death-by-fellatio scene (yes you read that correctly) which is equal parts disturbing and hilarious.

Throughout the movie Bimba's family obviously notice her bizarre behaviour but put it down to some sort of odd teen phase. I'll bet good ol' Dad realizes that it's not just a 'phase' when his daughter French kisses him and grabs his crotch though.

So there you have it. MALABIMBA is a cheap EXORCIST ripoff albeit a super sexy and sleazy version. If you're into Eurosleaze, sexploitation or just want to see some hardcore sex while without feeling guilty because you're not 'technically' watching porn, then MALABIMBA is for you. But if you hear the word 'possession' and expect a horror film you will be sorely disappointed. It is surprisingly a decent film though with an ending that wraps things up nicely and although there's nothing you could call a standout performance, Laennec gives a nice performance as the possessed and sexually charged Bimba.

Horror Feast: Zombi-O-Rama

There's nothing quite like an Italian zombie flick, and one of the best is of course Lucio Fulci's ZOMBI 2 (aka ZOMBIE, aka ZOMBIE FLESH EATERS etc etc). But while I've seen it more than a few times, it occurred to me recently that I've never had the pleasure (or perhaps displeasure) of watching any of the sequels. But last night changed all that as I sat myself down with some bourbon and snacks to treat myself to a 4-film Zombi-thon.
It's not something I plan on doing again. Ever.

ZOMBI 2 (1979)

While it definitely isn't his best film, ZOMBI 2 is probably Lucio Fulci's most well known contribution to the horror genre and basically reinvented him as a horror icon. There was controversy about the film being unofficially linked to Romero's DAWN OF THE DEAD when the opening and closing scenes were added, but nevertheless ZOMBI 2 is still a great standalone film. There's not much to the plot, it's essentially about a cursed island called Matool where the dead are rising from their graves. But since when does a zombie movie need a plot? The film showcases some quite good make-up and practical effects (well good by 1979 standards at least) and also includes two of the most badass and iconic scenes in horror; the underwater zombie vs shark fight and of course that extreme close-up shot of eyeball vs splinter. In contrast to the zombie films of Romero, this is devoid of any kind of social commentary and is basically just a straight up gory, gross-out flick. While definitely not the goriest zombie movie, it was extreme enough to make the infamous video nasties list.
Essential viewing for any fan of the zombie sub-genre.

ZOMBI 3 (1988)While Lucio Fulci is credited as its director, ZOMBI 3 was in fact only partly directed by him. After a few weeks of filming Fulci stepped back and Bruno Mattei took over. The result is a film consisting of approximately 60% footage from Fulci and the rest from Mattei (and Claudio Fragasso), and therefore does resemble Mattei's films more than Fulci's. A sequel in name only, ZOMBI 3 only resembles it's predecessor in that it has zombies in it. Its plot revolves around a top secret bacteriological military weapon known as Death One, which has been released and infected a man. Once the man is found dead his body is burned, the ashes float up into the atmosphere before spreading and falling back to earth, infecting people and animals alike. After dying, their corpses come back to life and they attack the living. This movie (as you might expect) is a huge disappointment after watching the original film. It has almost no redeeming qualities whatsoever and is really   only worth watching for the gore and to laugh at the horrible acting and even more horrible music.

ZOMBI 4: AFTER DEATH (1989)

Directed by Claudio Fragasso (who also helped direct ZOMBI 3) this movie somehow manages to be even more ridiculous and trashy than it's predecessor. It focuses on a zombie outbreak which occurs on a tropical island. A team of researchers trying to find a cure for cancer test out their serum on a young girl but to no avail. She dies and her father - a Voodoo priest - curses the researchers and the entire island by opening a gate to hell and unleashing the undead. From the terrible (yet somehow awesome) 80s electro theme song all the way to the closing credits, this movie stinks. The acting is abysmal, the English dubbing is horrible and distracting, the characters are stupid and the movie even recycles a couple of actors from ZOMBI 3. The gore and effects are decent when you take into consideration the low budget but everything else is crap. Also worth noting is that somebody thought it would be a good idea to have pornstar Jeff Stryker star in this.




ZOMBI 5: KILLING BIRDS (1988)

This movie was never supposed to be a part of ZOMBI franchise and was initially released in Italy under the title UCCELLI ASSASSINI. But when ZOMBI 4 made money (somehow) upon its US release, this was released as ZOMBI 5. I won't even try to explain the 'plot' because it is so incoherent. There's something about a guy killing his wife then being blinded by a bird, some students looking for woodpeckers and a house in the middle of a swamp. The title is extremely misleading since zombies only appear towards the end and nobody is killed by any birds. ZOMBI 5: KILLING BIRDS is by far the worst of the franchise. The acting is somehow worse than in all of the previous films, the screenplay makes absolutely no sense whatsoever and the gore and effects are cheap and nasty. The characters all wander around making the stupidest decisions possible and some scenes completely contradict others. Don't watch this movie. Ever.

THE DRILLER KILLER (1979) Review

Directed by: Abel Ferrara

Starring: Abel Ferrara, Carolyn Marz, Baybi Day

There were two things which led to my viewing of this film. First was the simple fact that it made the infamous 'video nasties' list in the UK, and the second was an image of the original VHS cover which showed a rather brutal scene in which a man was getting a power drill right through the skull. As it turns out these two facts are actually very misleading, but that's not to say that the movie was bad it just wasn't what I expected.

Director Abel Ferrara plays (under the name Jimmy Laine) the man character Reno Miller, an artist who is struggling to make ends meet as he finds himself dealing with professional problems, personal problems and a band which has just moved into the building. It's not long before Reno seemingly goes insane, running around the streets of New York at night murdering people with a power drill.

I have to say that even though I was expecting more of a slasher / splatter film I still enjoyed it for what it was. It kind of has a similar feel to Taxi Driver and Maniac Cop especially with the filthy New York streets and Reno's insane hatred for the scum living there. As for being on the 'video nasties' list I really don't think this deserved to have been included. It's a lot more violent than a movie like AXE but even for the late 70s I would think that there were plenty of worse films around. The scene I mentioned earlier with the homeless man's skull getting drilled is probably the most violent image in the movie, but even that looks fake so it really doesn't hit as hard as it probably did 30 years ago.
I'm still not quite sure why Reno decided to murder vagrants when he probably should have taken the drill to that amazingly terrible sounding punk band who moved into his building. Another thing which was strange was the fact that there is not a single police officer in the entire movie. With such a high body count in New York City you would expect the cops to come into it at some point, but no (this isn't a bad thing though, I actually thought it was a clever decision).

THE DRILLER KILLER is more of a drama / social commentary than a horror movie, which you may not guess by the way it was marketed, but it is still a pretty solid film. A few pacing problems lead to some boring areas but once the action resumes you forget all about it. Worth a watch, just don't expect to see a blood-soaked slasher.