STORAGE 24 (2012) Review

Directed by: Johannes Roberts

Starring: Noel Clarke, Colin O'Donoghue, Antonia Campbell-Hughes

It’s been a while since I last saw a really good movie involving aliens, well not really that long I suppose since last year’s SUPER 8 was pretty damn impressive. I never understood what the big deal was about ATTACK THE BLOCK though, but here we have another alien movie from the UK; STORAGE 24. Will it fill the void?

The title refers to where the movie takes place, a 24 hour storage facility. You know those places with rows and rows of locked storage rooms which you can hire and fill with all of your crap. Anyway, right at the start of the movie there is a plane crash, but not just any ordinary plane. This is a military plane and we all know what that means right? Obviously it was carrying some type of top secret cargo which in this case comes in the form of a vicious bipedal alien. After escaping from its container it makes its way into the storage facility to hide out. Electrical problems due to the plane crash are causing the storage facility to have some problems and soon all of its occupants find themselves trapped inside.

Inside the facility we have three friends who are sorting through Shelley’s (Campbell-Hughes) stuff after a break up with her boyfriend. Boyfriend Charlie (Clarke) and friend Mark (O'Donoghue) show up and there’s some whining and bitching (mostly from Charlie) about why they broke up and what went wrong and blah blah blah.
But of course soon they discover that they’re not alone in building and that whatever is after them is fast, cunning, deadly and not human. Now they have more important things to worry about rather than their relationship woes, thank fuck.

You’d think that putting a small group of people in a confined space with a vicious alien would make for good cinema, but I guess it’s not always the case. Firstly the characters are so annoying or bland that you don’t care one way or the other whether they live or die. Secondly the opportunity to create some mood and tension has been completely wasted here and instead we are treated to a lot of pointless arguing and running around as the alien picks these people off one by one.

All of the attack sequences for some reason are filmed in close-up and I found myself just begging for a nice medium shot just so I could actually see what was going on.

Thankfully there is a bit of blood and gore and it’s the good old fashioned practical kind, and the alien itself looks pretty menacing. But the fact remains that too much of the movie is taken up by these annoying characters (mostly Charlie; it’s no wonder your girlfriend dumped you, you whiny little shit) and their stupid relationship subplot. And the ending. Oh the ending. Is that really the best they could come up with? I could not think of a more predictable finish to the film. But at least it fits with the rest of the movie which is also predictable, bland and void of any tension or atmosphere. What they've done here is take an interesting location, a nice, simple premise with plenty of potential and they've just wasted it. As far as alien movies go this year I would rather watch MEN IN BLACK III again, at least it had some laughs and entertainment value.

INBRED (2012) Review

Directed by: Alex Chandon

Starring: Jo Hartley, James Doherty, Chris Waller

A movie titled INBRED. Pretty predictable isn't it? A bunch of city kids find themselves stalked by inbred rednecks somewhere in the deep south of the US right? Wrong. In fact this particular film takes place in the UK, which is something that intrigued me right away. What are English backwoods inbreds like? Do they drink tea and eat scones? Who the fuck knows, the best thing to do here is jump right into the movie and see what happens.

Kate (Hartley) and Jeff (Doherty) are driving a quartet of troubled youths through the English countryside, heading to a small town. This retreat is supposed to be some sort of project to help the four kids. Somehow. But that’s not important. What’s important is that after arriving at their run-down shithole of a vacation house they put all of their mobile phones in a bag and leave them behind (great idea guys!) then decide to take a trip to the local pub. As soon as they open the door and step inside all eyes are upon them. These eyes happen to belong to a throng of greasy, dirty, stringy-haired fellows with bad teeth and an appearance that suggests they are all each other’s brothers, uncles and sons. In fact only the barkeeper seems to be a normal, friendly guy. He even makes the group of newcomers a fresh batch of lemonade. Sure it tastes like warm piss but hey, what are you gonna do? At least it was free. He even sells them some homemade snacks which look suspiciously like shrivelled up, hairy pieces of person. What a nice guy.

The city folk head out to an old abandoned train yard for what I assume is supposed to be some sort of fun, team-building scavenger hunt. However Dwight (Waller) (the douche bag of the group) manages to turn it into a ‘let’s smash the absolute fuck out of everything’ activity. Two of the other youths have a run in with a pair of backwoods freaks before the others come to intervene. Unfortunately while trying to be a tough motherfucker Jeff falls and cuts his leg open on a big chunk of steel. Blood everywhere.
Back at the pub they ask somebody to call an ambulance, and this is the point where everything turns to shit.

So I suppose apart from the setting it is pretty predictable, until we get to the killing that is. Although the English villains are just as sinister as their American counterparts, these enterprising British inbreds aren't just intent on making their victims squeal like piggies or carving them up for their dinner. No, they have decided to make a spectacle of it. The whole town turns up to watch. It’s a fucking hit. Even the nice barkeeper gets involved, blackfacing himself up and putting on a spiffy red jacket like a circus ringleader. Then he announces the main attractions, which I won’t reveal. Let’s just say that they involve vegetables, animals and other things.
Speaking of killing though we should talk about the gore and effects. First of all there is plenty of the red stuff and some good looking practical effects. But there is also quite a bit of CGI that I found a little distracting. Overall though it’s not too bad. Some of the death scenes are quite unique too.

So I guess in the end INBRED isn't as predictable as you might first expect. There isn't anything groundbreaking brought to the table but there are enough fresh touches to keep you interested. And more importantly it’s a fun movie. I particularly liked the attitude of the inbreds themselves. Rather than sprinting through the woods in hot pursuit of their victims they take a more care-free approach, skipping along singing old folky songs and leaving the escapees to the mercy of their booby-traps. It’s a shame about the CGI but at least they haven’t gone completely overboard with it and had the good sense to use it in collaboration with some good old practical stuff. And as far as backwoods inbred movies go it’s a hell of a lot better than what that piece of shit WRONG TURN franchise has turned into. If you see one British, backwoods inbred film this year make sure it is INBRED.

TRUTH OR DARE (2012) Review

Directed by: Robert Heath

Starring: Jennie Jacques, David Oakes, Jack Gordon

I wasn't expecting much from TRUTH OR DARE (aka TRUTH OR DIE) to be honest, it started out like countless other teen revenge slashers and so I expected a fairly predictable and generic film. But thankfully by sticking with the movie right to the end I was treated to something which was actually quite original and overall very well crafted.

As I said TRUTH OR DARE starts out like so many other movies at a party where the creepy loser is humiliated by the popular kids. In this case the creepy loser is Felix and he is humiliated while playing a game of Truth or Dare. When asked which girl he has a crush on he points out the cute girl Gemma and her boyfriend gets all macho and beats Felix up.
Months later five of the kids who were present at the party are invited to a birthday party at Felix's house. Gemma, Chris, Luke, Paul and Eleanor arrive to find out from Felix's older brother Justin that his flight was cancelled and he wouldn't be attending, but they are all welcome to stay the night anyway. They start drinking and eventually get into a game of Truth or Dare in which Justin tells them that he lied about Felix. Felix didn't get stuck overseas due to a cancelled flight, he hung himself. After this revelation Justin tells everybody that he connected them to Felix's suicide and in fact invited them all so that he could find out who is responsible for the death of his brother, by any means necessary.

One of the things that came as a pleasant surprise to me was the level of acting here. David Oakes’ portrayal of the psychotic Justin was great, as was Jennie Jacques as Eleanor. They were definitely the standouts for me but the rest of the cast also did a great job.

There is a point at which it seems that TRUTH OR DARE is going to descend into the dark depths of what a lot of people would call ‘torture porn’ (I’ve always hated that term) but thankfully it doesn’t quite go that far. There is torture involved but it is mostly psychological as Justin continues using the Truth or Dare concept to try and make the friends turn on each other. That’s not to say that there isn’t also some physical torture thrown in for good measure, and the ‘acid test’ is a sadistically original idea that’s a lot more sophisticated than just pulling fingernails or busting kneecaps.

Unfortunately since all of the characters are equally annoying (they all seem to be either assholes or whining bitches) it didn’t really bother me which of them lived or died, in fact if they had all died I couldn’t have cared less. It would have been nice if there were somebody I could have found myself rooting for but in the end none of the characters were likeable enough.

OUTPOST: BLACK SUN (2012) Review

Directed by: Steve Barker

Starring: Catherine Steadman, Richard Coyle, Clive Russell

I was more than a little disappointed with the first OUTPOST, mainly due to a lot of inconsistencies regarding the Nazi ghost/zombie/super soldiers. I was hoping these problems would be addressed in this sequel but unfortunately they weren't.

Helena (Steadman) is a Nazi hunter to put it simply. She has made it her duty to track down and kill elderly Nazi war criminals who have run and hidden under assumed names. While on a mission to track down a particularly elusive target named Klausener she becomes caught up in a much larger situation. She runs into an acquaintance named Wallace (Coyle) who is looking for a machine built by Klausener. If you've seen the first film then you'll know exactly which machine I'm talking about. If you haven't however then all you need to know is that this machine has the power to create an unstoppable army of Nazi supersoldiers. In other words it's not a very nice machine. Helena and Wallace travel to a bunker where the machine is supposed to be located and run into a group of soldiers who coincidentally are also looking for said machine. Soon they find themselves under attack from these Nazi supersoldiers and desperately need to find the machine and put a stop to it once and for all.

As I mentioned, my biggest gripe with the original OUTPOST was the inconsistencies regarding the enemies. At the beginning they were super stealthy and could teleport through locked doors etc. Then they started for some reason to get really sloppy, setting off tripwires etc. In this sequel I actually found them to be even worse. Instead of being the silent supersoldiers they started off as, they now shamble around making the cliche zombie noises and they don't really try to be stealthy at all. Also they seem to be much easier to kill in this sequel.

On a much more pleasant note, the movie at least does a good job of creating a nice dark, unsettling and claustrophobic atmosphere within the underground bunker. The acting is decent as well but when it comes to the writing I was once again disappointed. It seems that there are too many sub-plots which are merely mentioned and never followed up on. It's as though they tried to cram too much into the movie instead of just focusing on what's important. The tension which the first film had has not been successfully carried over into this sequel and there were only really a few exciting moments. If you loved the original then this is worth a watch but don't expect too much from it.

THE WOMAN IN BLACK (2012) Review

Directed by: James Watkins

Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Janet McTeer, Ciarán Hinds

First off I should probably mention that I haven't read the original novel or the TV movie based on it, which I actually think is a good thing because it means I won't be comparing this remake to the original source material in this review. The prospect of seeing Daniel Radcliffe in something other than HARRY POTTER was a little strange at first and I was curious to see how well he could carry this movie. Thankfully by the time the credits rolled I was well impressed with what I had just seen.

Arthur Kipps (Radcliffe) is a young lawyer who has been suffering from the death of his wife during childbirth a few years back and it has been affecting his performance at the law firm for which he works. He is sent on an assignment to prove his dedication to the firm. He must travel to a remote village on the outskirts of England to look over the papers and finalize the legal proceedings of the recently deceased Mrs Drablow. But when he arrives there is obviously something wrong. Children have been mysteriously dying and the townspeople want Arthur to leave as soon as possible. After a bit of sleuthing, Arthur seemingly finds more and more questions. Who was Mrs Drablow? And why will nobody venture near the old house on the island? And who is the woman dressed in black who keeps mysteriously appearing?
Arthur of course, takes it upon himself to try and unravel these mysteries.

On the surface this seems to be a generic ghost story. There is a dilapidated mansion on a remote island which is haunted by the ghost of its former inhabitant. A mysterious woman dressed all in black is seen, and each time a child dies in what seems like a terrible accident. Pretty standard fare for a ghost story really.
But what I thought set this apart from most others was the incredible atmosphere and the period setting. It really brought back memories of those classic Hammer titles from yesteryear.
THE WOMAN IN BLACK does a great job of ratcheting up the tension too and it is genuinely creepy. There are a few cheap jump scares thrown in but mostly the film relies on the atmospheric scares. And take a look at those toys and tell me that they aren't creepy as hell!
As for the acting, the entire success of the movie really relies upon Radcliffe's performance and though it may be hard to accept him as a father and lawyer rather than the boy wizard we're all familiar with, as the story moves along you don't really pay it much attention. Ciarán Hinds as Daily (Kipps' only friend in the town) is also a great support and Janet McTeer (Mrs Daily) does a good job too.
Even though the ending isn't exactly original or surprising, I found that it fit in just fine and wrapped up the whole experience nicely. 


So far this year THE WOMAN IN BLACK has been the only movie which I have really enjoyed. The story is easy to follow while not being boring, the acting is brilliant, the setting is perfect and the film just looks great. If you want to see a genuinely creepy and atmospheric ghost thriller then this is the movie for you.

PEEPING TOM (1960) Review

Directed by: Michael Powell

Starring: Karlheinz Böhm, Anna Massey, Moira Shearer

Widely remembered as the film which single-handedly ruined Michael Powell's career and often wrongly labeled as a 'slasher', PEEPING TOM is a brilliantly dark look at the voyeuristic and almost pornographic element in the act of filming. It has been over 50 years since it's release, but the film is perhaps more relevant now in a period of reality television and CCTV, than it ever has been. A movie well ahead of it's time.

Mark Lewis (Böhm) works as a focus puller at a film studio. After hours however he provides photographs for a small newsagent / porn store and creates his own special home movies while dabbling in a bit of murder.

A lonely, shy and quiet man, Mark has a strange obsession with fear and more importantly capturing that fear on somebody's face at the moment they are about to die. We learn that this obsession comes from the experiments his father conducted on him when he was just a young boy, trying to research fear and it's effect on the nervous system. 

He meets Helen (Massey), a woman who lives with her blind mother in his building and they begin a close relationship. But can he keep his deadly hobby a secret?

A lot of people consider this to be one of the first slasher films, but I'm not one of them. I definitely agree that this has heavily influenced a lot of horror movies including the slasher sub-genre but along with Psycho I don't believe that this should really be considered a slasher film.

One of the film's strengths is the great performance by German actor Karlheinz Böhm as Mark Lewis, and indeed the rest of the cast are almost as good. Mark's character is likeable and there are some scenes where  it seems that he genuinely wants help, so it's easy to sympathize with him even though we all know he is a killer.

Other positive points include the use of color which reminded me almost of some of Dario Argento's work, and also the effective, mesmerizing piano score which creates a perfectly eerie atmosphere for the film.

Of course the film does have its negative point too. Some of the dialogue is awkward especially between Mark and Helen, and there are a few pacing problems with sections of the movie dragging on while others are tense and powerful.

Lots of comparisons are made between this movie and Psycho since they released around the same time, but in reality they are two completely different films and I actually prefer this one over Hitchcock's classic.

Although this movie is ultimately about a serial killer, don't expect to see blood and gore or a high body count. Do however expect to see a very bleak and very human film that unfortunately was ahead of it's time.

ATTACK THE BLOCK (2011) Review

Directed by: Joe Cornish

Starring: John Boyega, Jodie Whittaker, Alex Esmail

I don't know about you, but I personally don't really like the idea of horror/comedy films. In fact the only movies in this hybrid genre I've ever really enjoyed would probably be the Evil Dead trilogy. And when I heard that ATTACK THE BLOCK came from the producers of Shaun of the Dead, I was contemplating not even watching it at all. But I don't like to judge movies without even seeing them so I sat down and watched it. And I'm actually glad I did.

Luckily for me, ATTACK THE BLOCK isn't a horror film. It's kind of a teen/sci-fi/drama/comedy mashup about a group of young thugs defending their 'block' from an alien invasion. It reminded me of that British TV show Skins, but with aliens.
Led by Moses (Boyega), the group of youths confront a lone girl at knifepoint in the dark streets of London. After stealing her valuables, a meteor falls from the sky and lands nearby. When Moses investigates, he discovers a strange creature which then proceeds to run away. The gang chase down this alien and kill it. But unfortunately for them, there are more aliens on the way. Meteors start raining down all over London, so the boys equip themselves with an array of weapons and step out to hunt down the aliens. But these aren't quite as small and easy to kill as the first creature was, and soon they find that the aliens are hunting them. They escape back to the 'safety' of their block but soon realise that they are trapped inside and desperately need to find a way out.

When you get right down to it, this is one of those 'villain turns hero' movies. It's a story which has been told thousands of times over but somehow it's still interesting. And even though this is about an alien invasion, the focus is more on character development than the actual aliens themselves. The whole movie itself is pretty predictable but there is plenty of humour and action to keep it going at a steady pace. The acting was great and whoever was in charge of casting has done an excellent job finding these young teenagers. The creature effects aren't exactly the best, with the aliens looking like a bunch of black muppets with glow in the dark chompers. But that's not going to worry you much because most of your focus will be on the main group of characters anyway.

The biggest problem I had with the movie were the kids' accents, for some reason I just found them really fucking annoying. But apart from that the movie was great. Not original, not shocking, not a lot of tension or surprises but it was still a pretty solid and entertaining romp. And hell, who doesn't like to see a kid riding a pizza delivery scooter while wielding a katana?

 For a relatively low budget debut feature, director Joe Cornish has done a brilliant job, expect to see great things from him in the future.

THE DEAD (2011) Review

Directed by: Howard J. Ford, Jonathan Ford

Starring: Rob Freeman, Prince David Oseia

I'll start by saying that this is not your typical zombie movie. If you're looking for a fast paced movie with huge hordes of undead and buckets of gore, then you might be a little disappointed. That's not to say that there weren't plenty of zombies and head shots in THE DEAD, but it is a lot different to films like the Dawn of the Dead remake. I guess you could say it's a more serious and mature zombie film, and as a matter of fact it probably more accurately fits into the same category as those apocalyptic road movies like The Road, where the main characters are on a long journey facing threats along the way. It's definitely a very bleak and desolate film, which is helped immensely by the location. It was shot primarily in Burkina Faso, Africa and the wide open landscape ranges from sandy deserts to mountain ranges. But no matter where the two main companions travel, the undead are waiting for them.

American Airforce Engineer Lieutenant Brian Murphy (Freeman) was on the last evacuation plane out of Africa after the dead started coming back to life. Unfortunately they were attacked before the plane was properly prepared, and consequently it crashes into the ocean just off the coast. Murphy washes up on a beach and is immediately set upon the the undead. After fighting his way from the beach he comes across a small abandoned community and finds a partially taken apart ute. Being an engineer, he quickly has the ute back together just as the zombies catch up with him. He takes off through the scrub and eventually gets stuck, but is helped out by an African soldier named Daniel (Oseia). The two don't get along so well to begin with, but realizing that they're better off working together they travel together.

While Brian is trying to find a way out of the continent, Daniel has a different problem. His village was attacked by the zombies and his wife was killed. His son however was among the survivors, and Daniel believes him to be at a military base in the north. After finding a small airport with no planes or helicopters in sight, Brian accepts that his best chance will be to follow Daniel to the military base. They continue their journey while fighting off the undead and trying their best to survive.

I know it probably doesn't sound like a really interesting story, but the emphasis isn't on the actual plot itself, but rather the two main characters and their quest. While at first they seem suspicious and wary of each other, they soon form a friendship and come to depend on each other. The movie does move at a bit of a slow pace, but it is steady and I never found myself bored. And even though the emphasis is on storytelling and character development, there is still enough gore and terror to satisfy most horror fans. The night scenes in particular, where the headlights of the ute suddenly wash across a zombie on the road are really kind of creepy and claustrophobic. And there are enough of those panicky moments too, like when the radiator overheats and the zombies are advancing from all around. And for a low budget film, the attention to detail that has gone into this is pretty amazing. The make-up fx are excellent (no CGI here), and I heard that they even used amputees to play some of the zombies. Another thing that makes THE DEAD stand out is the fact that it wasn't filmed digitally, but rather on old fashioned 35mm film, and you can really see the difference.

I'm going to make a bold statement here and say that THE DEAD might just be the best zombie film I've seen since Romero's Night of the Living Dead. It's definitely worth a watch, and is a personal favorite film of the year so far. I'd give it full marks except that I found Rob Freeman's acting to be not the best, and there were maybe a couple of scenes which were a little slow.

THE DESCENT (2005) Review

Directed by: Neil Marshall

Starring: Shauna McDonald, Natalie Jackson Mendoza, Alex Reid

I was pretty excited to see this movie. I'd read plenty of positive reviews and it was written and directed by Neil Marshall who was responsible for one of my favorite werewolf films Dog Soldiers. Unfortunately The Descent didn't really do it for me.

A group of female friends get together for an annual adventure vacation. Sarah (Shauna McDonald) has been lured to the United States along with her friend Beth (Alex Reid) to go on a caving (or spelunking, if you prefer) trip with their old friend Juno (Natalie Mendoza). After explaining that the cave is an exceptionally easy and safe descent, they arrive to find that Juno has lied. It turns out that the cave is actually unmapped and as far as everybody knows, unexplored. But they decide to go anyway.

Not long after the enter the cave though, there is a rockfall and they find themselves trapped with no map and limited supplies. But that isn't the worst part. It turns out that they're not alone in the cave, and the other inhabitants are hungry...

If you've seen Dog Soldiers, then you'll know the general outline. The film starts off with a couple suffering a traumatic event, (in this case a car accident) then the film flashes forward to a group of people in a remote location (although this time it's women and they are in a cave) and then they soon find that they are facing a terrible non-human enemy (not werewolves this time). But that is where the similarities end. Not only do the women have to battle monsters, but they also have conflicting personalities which causes trouble. Juno is the strong fearless leader type, whereas Sarah is a traumatized woman trying to get her life back together (how ironic).

The cave sets the right kind of atmosphere for a horror film, dark, claustrophobic and creepy (I found it to be a little too dark at times). The acting is fine, but nothing spectacular. There is plenty of tension. All round it is a good solid horror flick, but I think after all of the hype it just seemed to fall a bit short of my expectations. It's definitely worth a watch but don't expect too much.

EDEN LAKE (2008) Review

Directed by: James Watkins

Starring: Kelly Reilly, Michael Fassbender, Jack O'Connell

I first watched Eden Lake about a month or so ago, and was so pleasantly surprised that I actually watched it again during the same night. I honestly can't remember the last time I've done that. The plot definitely isn't very original, nor is any other aspect of the film really. But the fantastic acting, along with the mindless violence and bleak atmosphere makes this one of my favorite horror films of the last decade.

Steve (Fassbender) has organised a surprise for his girlfriend Jenny (Reilly). The plan is for the both of them to take a peaceful, relaxing vacation at a small isolated lake in the midst of a vast forest, where Steve can propose. But things take a turn for the worst when they come face to face with a gang of teenagers who harass the couple before stealing their car. 

Steve finds the teens and confronts them, but during the fateful encounter he makes a mistake that changes everything. The couple escape in their newly recovered car, but following a crash Steve is trapped and Jenny must leave him behind to go and get help. Meanwhile the teenagers stumble across Steve, and when Jenny returns, she realizes that if she doesn't save him, they will kill him. From there the film descends into a fast paced and dramatic quest for survival, and ultimately revenge.

As I already said, the acting was amazing, especially from O'Connell, who played the psychotic gang leader Brett. The visual effects were outstanding, and the sense of hopelessness from the couple lost in a seemingly never ending forest was brilliant. And I have to say, I definitely did not expect the movie to end how it did. I'm not saying that the ending was disappointing, as a matter of fact I thought it was the perfect ending. It's just an unexpected one.

Ruthlessly violent and spectacularly bleak, Eden Lake is the most enjoyable and disturbing British horror movie in years.