ANTIVIRAL (2012) Review

Directed by: Brandon Cronenberg

Starring: Caleb Landry Jones, Sarah Gadon, Malcolm McDowell

The world showcased in ANTIVIRAL is perhaps a terrifying look at our not so distant future. Celebrity obsession has reached an all new high and televisions display around the clock footage of celebrity lives. Newspapers and magazines are rife with the latest celebrity scandals and people everywhere are discussing the latest rumors about the genitals of the rich and famous. But that’s far from the worst of it. Clinics have been set up to satisfy the community’s celebrity cravings by offering injections so that average folk can have a little bit of their favorite celebrity inside them until the day that they die. Syd March (Landry Jones) is a technician at one such company, The Lucas Clinic. During business hours he harvests viruses from high profile celebrities and then infects the clinic’s clients with them. After hours he smuggles the latest and greatest viruses out by infecting himself so they can be sold on the black market. But this extra side business eventually ends up with Syd being infected with a very deadly virus and he is going to need to uncover its secrets and origins before he becomes its next victim.

ANTIVIRAL takes the idea of celebrity obsession and asks the question; how far would you be willing to go to get as close to your idol as you could? In the film’s world some people are so fanatical that they are actually lining up to spend their money just for the chance to be infected with designer diseases straight from their favorite celebrities. Others take a trip to the local butcher to buy thick slabs of grey, unappetizing looking meat created from the muscle cells of these very same celebrities. And as disturbing a concept as this may be, the one thing I found a lot more disturbing is that it wouldn’t be too far a stretch of the imagination to think that there are some people who would be willing to do this in our own, real world.

Think about it. Some people spend a fortune on plastic surgery to look like their idols; others cut themselves in the name of their celebrity heroes, and then of course there are others still who break into the properties of the famous and stalk them. Is it really that far-fetched to believe that there are people willing to be infected with the herpes virus of flu virus taken straight from their chosen celebrity? Sadly I think not.
But then not a lot of people could honestly say that they are completely innocent of celebrity worship. Gossip magazines sell like hotcakes and people spend hours online trying to find the juiciest scandals about athletes and film stars. I myself have plastered my walls in posters of my favorite musicians and just a few months back I clambered at an opportunity to get a photo with the Soska sisters. But I like to think that I have a healthy respect for talented celebrities which is a far cry from following them around or going through their trash to find a used tissue that I could treasure for the rest of my sad life.

But anyway that’s enough about me. Let’s get back to the film.

ANTIVIRAL begins with a great establishing scene in which a young man enters the Lucas Clinic and patiently waits for his appointment. He has come to be infected by a strain of the herpes virus obtained from his favorite celebrity Hanna Geist (Gadon). Syd informs him that Hanna’s virus first appeared on the right side of her mouth, so if he were to be infected on the left side of his own mouth it would be the closest thing to being kissed by Hannah. The look on the young man’s face and his reaction perfectly convey the level of obsession and fanaticism displayed throughout the film.

ANTIVIRAL is Brandon Cronenberg’s feature debut and being the son of respected director David Cronenberg I was a little worried that his father’s style would be heavily borrowed from in Brandon’s work. Fortunately it seems that is not the case because it’s obvious that Brandon has in fact done a great job at crafting his own style and apart from the obvious influence of his father in the body horror department the film stands on its own as an original and stunning piece of work. The medical theme is extended throughout the whole film and we witness stark white-walled rooms, minimalism and a lot of symmetry. The use of color is brilliantly conceived with contrasting reds used as lipstick and blood and there is some really nice cinematography as well.

Caleb Landry Jones is front and centre in ANTIVIRAL and his performance is easily the most impressive. Over the course of the film he undergoes a complete physical and emotional change and his portrayal of Syd’s downward spiral is breathtaking and agonizing to watch. Sarah Gadon plays the celebrity Hannah Geist and although most of her scenes are spent lying ill in bed she puts on a suitably fragile and vulnerable performance. Malcolm McDowell also makes an appearance as Hannah’s doctor and as usual does a nice solid job.

ANTIVIRAL is quite a slow film but its well crafted visuals make every minute of it a delight to watch and its drony score is a perfect companion to the on screen images. With some solid performances all round, great cinematography and twisted body horror ANTIVIRAL is one film I found exceedingly enjoyable and I look forward to Brandon’s next film. It’s by no means a perfect film but for a debut is quite stunning and slick and so I give ANTIVIRAL eight celebrity steaks out of ten.

BLOODLUST ZOMBIES (2011) Review

Directed by: Dan Lantz

Starring: Alexis Texas, Janice Marie, Adam Danoff

Adult star Alexis Texas gets top billing in this low budget zombie / infected flick about a virus which gets unleashed in a research facility. But is the name of a pornstar (I will refer to her as such from now on. Fuck that adult film star bullshit, she's a fucking pornstar!) really enough to lure people in to see a flick which would have otherwise completely passed them by? Well it was good enough for me. Hey, don't judge me. One of last year's best films EXCISION featured a fantastic performance by ex-pornstar Traci Lords which proves it is possible to successfully make the transition from porn to mainstream cinema. It's just very, very rare. In this case it didn't work. At all.

As mentioned previously this film takes place in a research facility. It's after hours and the team are celebrating after successful trials of some mysterious virus concocted for military use. A mishap in the lab releases the virus and the whole building is put under lockdown. The people trapped inside need to stay alive until help arrives. The only problem is that nobody is coming and the building is rapidly filling with 28 DAYS LATER style Rage victims.

Ok so let's get the obvious out of the way first. Alexis Texas can't act. She may do a good job of shaking her ass and taking a cock in any one of her orifices but she can't act for shit. Fortunately she does briefly get her tits out but it's not really enough to justify having a pornstar in the movie. Plus everybody knows that her ass is her best feature, so why focus on the tits? Who knows?
During the majority of the film when she is clothed she runs around stumbling over her dialogue and generally just being an irritating bitch. Also she has the most annoying scream ever.

Fortunately for Alexis (but not for us) the rest of the cast is not much better and not only is the acting terrible but so are the characters and all of the dialogue. Darren (Danoff) is an overly douchey douchebag who's one soul purpose in the film seems to be making immature jokes and just being an all around prick. But it's not even his character that is the problem, after all we've all seen these douchebag asshole characters played perfectly well before. Think Stifler from AMERICAN PIE or even Biff from BACK TO THE FUTURE. Darren is just a dick.
The security officer (played by director Dan Lantz) is a stereotypical lazy lump who sits on his ass reading manuals. The temp Libby seems to have no place in the story at all. Why is her foot broken? Why is she even there after hours if she's just a temp? Why is she carrying a gun around? Most of the characters are more like caricatures.

So now lets get to the gore, after all this is a zombie film right? Well yes and no. It's not really a zombie film (one character even explains why they're not zombies) but there is a lot of blood and fortunately it's almost entirely practical. Unfortunately it looks fake as fuck. And there are way too many neck bites and head shots (how about some variety?). Along with Alexis' breasts there are another two pairs we get to see briefly although they do belong to some unsexy infected freaks.

In all honesty I can sadly see a market for this type of film, but I hope that it is mostly people who just want to get drunk and have a laugh. If you came for Alexis you will be severely disappointed and the same goes if you were looking for some neat gore, suspense or scares. Avoid it like the plague. I give this two stars, one for each of Alexis Texas' tits.

DECAY (2012) Review

Directed by: Luke Thompson

Starring: Zoe Hatherell, Tom Procter, Stewart Martin-Haugh

You know what I like? Free horror movies. You know what I don’t like so much? The endless spewing forth of shit zombie films. There are so many it’s as though I could throw a rock blindfolded and still manage to hit about ten of them. However there is one thing that can persuade me to check out a new zombie flick and that’s the promise of something new and fresh. Sure, a lot of the time these claims turn out to be complete bullshit but what about in the case of DECAY? A free movie set and filmed at the CERN Large Hadron Collider… with zombies? I know what you’re thinking; did I just read that right? Yes. Yes you did. But an awesome premise means nothing if the movie can’t match up to it, so how does DECAY stack up?

 As has already been mentioned, DECAY takes place at the CERN Institute, primarily inside the world’s largest particle collider nestled 100 metres underneath France and Switzerland. Four physics students (played by real life physics students apparently) are volunteered to man the control room during the absence of one of the professors who is leading a technical team down into the tunnels to fix some kind of problem. Suddenly and inexplicably the Large Hadron Collider begins running seemingly by its own volition, an event that shouldn’t be able to take place while there are people down there. After some panicking one of the students shuts the machine down, but not before it has baked everybody in the tunnels with a lethal amount of Higgs radiation. With the phones down and the elevator not running, the only way out is through the access tunnels. But has the radiation really killed the technical crew?

I’ll bet a few of you who are reading this are wondering the same thing I was worrying about at first. Are these actual zombies? Or just some irradiated CHERNOBYL DIARIES type freaks? Well rest assured they are zombies in as much as they are reanimated corpses (it’s all explained in the movie with science and stuff). And what better place to put a bunch of zombies than an isolated, claustrophobic, subterranean maze?
Unfortunately although this would seem to be the perfect environment for some creepy, panicky, and action-packed moments I don’t feel that the filmmakers really got as much out of the location as they could have. Since the film was supposedly shot at the actual LHC maybe they had to hold back in fear of doing damage to the equipment? I don’t know. Regardless they still did a good job of creating an appropriate atmosphere with flickering lights, shadows, the distant gurgling and moaning of zombies and any sounds seemingly amplified in the dead silence.

And what about the effects? I hear you ask. Well I hate to say it but there’s a bunch of kind of dodgy looking CGI and not enough practical going on here. And the film also commits one of the worst effects sins ever; CGI blood. I can’t understand why any film should be using digital blood, unless that blood is being used for an effect which would be impossible otherwise. I can understand that the budget here wasn’t huge but really I would have preferred having no digital blood, even if it meant less blood overall in the film.

I should mention that the entire film doesn’t take place in the Collider, in fact there is a fairly sizeable chunk at the beginning where we see the students getting ready for some kind of emergency meeting. There’s some character development and some kind of love triangle introduced but it’s not very deep and all it did was make me want the radioactive zombie action to start already.

So overall DECAY isn’t a great film but then I don’t know all of the details. If it really was shot at the CERN Super Collider maybe there were safety and time restraints to deal with. I still think it could have ditched the CGI blood or at least toned it down. But hey the movie’s free so I can’t complain too much. Check it out if you’re a fan of zombie flicks, after all what have you got to lose apart from 75 minutes of your life?

RESIDENT EVIL: DAMNATION (2012) Review

Directed by: Makoto Kamiya

Starring (voices): Matthew Mercer, Courtenay Taylor, Robin Sachs

Aside from Paul W.S. Anderson’s live action RE films, another franchise has popped up over the last few years in the form of two full CG animated movies. And if you’re a fan of the RE videogames then these animated movies will probably be more to your liking than their live action counterparts. In fact you could even think of them simply as feature length cut scenes. The second and most recent of these movies is DAMNATION, and although (like the more recent videogames) it doesn’t contain a single zombie it still retains the overall feel of the games and is in my opinion much more enjoyable than any of Anderson’s RE films.

If I were to place DAMNATION somewhere in the RE timeline it would probably sit comfortably in between RE5 and the upcoming RE6. It follows BSAA agent Leon Kennedy who has been inserted into the volatile Eastern Slav Republic, a small country which is currently in the midst of a civil war. But what Leon is more interested in are the reports that BOWs (Bio-Organic Weapons) are being used. So obviously that means we are going to see a lot of the Las Plagas, Ganados, Lickers and so on.
After an encounter with one of the aforementioned Lickers in an underground parking lot, Leon finds himself captured by a resistance group and interrogated. But before they can get their answers they are under attack from the military and in the commotion they scatter. Leon catches up with one of his captors JD and after saving his life they form an uneasy alliance. Things escalate when Leon runs into Ada Wong and it soon becomes obvious that everything is not as it seems. New dominant Las Plagas have been produced which can create master/slave relationships between humans and BOWs, essentially meaning that humans can control these monsters, but the organisms are unstable. As he delves deeper Leon finds that the government and even the country’s president are involved in the cultivation and production of these dominant Las Plagas.

While the government, the resistance and the BSAA (in the form of Leon) are the key groups in this story, strangely there is a noticeable absence of the Umbrella Corporation. It’s not necessarily a bad thing I just thought it was quite bizarre as it is usually a staple of the RESIDENT EVIL world.

And while it does sadden me that Capcom have seemingly abandoned those good old fashioned zombies for the faster and more aggressive Ganados and Majini, this is probably as close to the videogames as you’re going to get. Indeed it is very much embedded in the style of the later games like RE4 and RE5 (and probably RE6) and so it definitely doesn’t have that claustrophobic, creepy feeling that the earlier games had (the first RE scared the crap out of me when I was a kid). But despite that it is still quite a good continuation of the RESIDENT EVIL story.

It’s better than DEGENERATION was, which is good news (although I didn’t think that DEGENERATION was such a bad movie either) and it’s better by far than probably all of the live action movies, at least in my opinion. The action comes thick and fast and relatively early in the film which is good, and soon it becomes a mélange of Ganados, Lickers and the daunting Tyrants (I swear those fuckers get bigger every time I see them). The fight scenes are as well choreographed as their live action counterparts and the animations look nice and just about as realistic as you can get with CGI. And I was very impressed with the English voice acting which was surprising.

If I had one main problem it was definitely with the script, mostly the unnecessarily cheesy one-liners peppered throughout Leon’s dialogue. And some of the characters were a bit over the top (JD is almost a parody with his obsession with everything American) but otherwise I had a good time with this and definitely recommend it if you enjoyed DEGENERATION. I would still prefer a movie more in the vein of the earlier RE games but this will have to do for now.

RESIDENT EVIL: RETRIBUTION 3D (2012) Review

Directed by: Paul W.S. Anderson

Starring: Milla Jovovich, Sienna Guillory, Michelle Rodriguez

The last 10 years have given birth to 5 RESIDENT EVIL feature films (7 if you include the two animated movies) and I can only imagine that there will be more to come. I actually thought the first film was a decent effort, but then with each progressive sequel the franchise quickly became tired and it was all just more of the same. But one thing is certain with the RE films, and that's the fact that Milla Jovovich will spend almost all of her screen time kicking ass in a skin-tight outfit. I mean that's the only reason half of us go to see these films right?

Beginning with a fancy slow-motion reverse action sequence, RETRIBUTION picks up from where AFTERLIFE left us. We are then treated to an unnecessary recap of the entire freaking franchise before the reverse slo-mo action sequence we just watched plays through again, this time at full speed and the right way around. Somehow Paul W.S. Anderson has managed to turn a 30 second action sequence into a 5 minute spectacle. But anyway, back to the 'story'. Alice (Jovovich) is knocked out and wakes up to find herself in a secret Umbrella facility, her old pal Jill Valntine (Guillory) is interrogating her. Soon somebody hacks the computers and Alice is busted out of her chamber only to find herself strangely in the centre of what looks like Tokyo. Zombies attack, she kills them and so on and so forth. She meets Ada Wong who tells her that Albert Wesker is helping her escape, and she isn't in Tokyo but instead a secret underwater Umbrella facility where bioweapons tests are carried out. The facility is used to simulate cities like Moscow, New York and Tokyo. Wesker has sent a team down to help free Alice because they need her to help save mankind or something. 

In short, Alice and friends are trapped in an underground facility, and they have to escape. It's as simple as that really. There's some stuff about clones and a little girl Alice becomes attached to but those things aren't really important. Otherwise though this is just the same as the previous franchise entries, albeit a lot bigger. 

RESIDENT EVIL: RETRIBUTION could almost be called the ultimate RE film because they have tried to cram absolutely everything they could think of into it. Fight scenes across New York City, Moscow and Tokyo, zombies, Las Plagas, lickers (giant motherfucking lickers), those humongous axe-men and bullets flying all over the damn place. They've even recycled some elements from previous films, that slice-and-dice laser grid from the first movie is back, the Red Queen makes another appearance, and even characters who died are back for more. It's completely over-the-top fucking ridiculous. But is that a bad thing? Well not really, because I'm assuming most people aren't expecting Oscar winning performances or character driven storylines when they go see an RE film. When you see one you expect slow-motion, physics-defying action sequences, guns that never run out of ammo, hordes of zombies, explosions and Milla kicking serious ass.
And that's exactly what this film delivers. 

Having said that, it still isn't a great movie. Although it's probably one of the best in the franchise (and that's not really saying much) it still has plenty of flaws. Too much CGI, terrible acting (Sienna Guillory is most guilty of this), and too many added elements which really don't need to be there. It also uses the 3D to throw lots of things towards the screen, but that's about it. It's not very immersive. But as I said, this is exactly what you'd expect from one of these movies, nothing more, nothing less. And at least it's better than AFTERLIFE which is a step in the right direction. And of course the ending is just begging for yet another sequel so stay tuned for that.

Horror Feast: Zombi-O-Rama

There's nothing quite like an Italian zombie flick, and one of the best is of course Lucio Fulci's ZOMBI 2 (aka ZOMBIE, aka ZOMBIE FLESH EATERS etc etc). But while I've seen it more than a few times, it occurred to me recently that I've never had the pleasure (or perhaps displeasure) of watching any of the sequels. But last night changed all that as I sat myself down with some bourbon and snacks to treat myself to a 4-film Zombi-thon.
It's not something I plan on doing again. Ever.

ZOMBI 2 (1979)

While it definitely isn't his best film, ZOMBI 2 is probably Lucio Fulci's most well known contribution to the horror genre and basically reinvented him as a horror icon. There was controversy about the film being unofficially linked to Romero's DAWN OF THE DEAD when the opening and closing scenes were added, but nevertheless ZOMBI 2 is still a great standalone film. There's not much to the plot, it's essentially about a cursed island called Matool where the dead are rising from their graves. But since when does a zombie movie need a plot? The film showcases some quite good make-up and practical effects (well good by 1979 standards at least) and also includes two of the most badass and iconic scenes in horror; the underwater zombie vs shark fight and of course that extreme close-up shot of eyeball vs splinter. In contrast to the zombie films of Romero, this is devoid of any kind of social commentary and is basically just a straight up gory, gross-out flick. While definitely not the goriest zombie movie, it was extreme enough to make the infamous video nasties list.
Essential viewing for any fan of the zombie sub-genre.

ZOMBI 3 (1988)While Lucio Fulci is credited as its director, ZOMBI 3 was in fact only partly directed by him. After a few weeks of filming Fulci stepped back and Bruno Mattei took over. The result is a film consisting of approximately 60% footage from Fulci and the rest from Mattei (and Claudio Fragasso), and therefore does resemble Mattei's films more than Fulci's. A sequel in name only, ZOMBI 3 only resembles it's predecessor in that it has zombies in it. Its plot revolves around a top secret bacteriological military weapon known as Death One, which has been released and infected a man. Once the man is found dead his body is burned, the ashes float up into the atmosphere before spreading and falling back to earth, infecting people and animals alike. After dying, their corpses come back to life and they attack the living. This movie (as you might expect) is a huge disappointment after watching the original film. It has almost no redeeming qualities whatsoever and is really   only worth watching for the gore and to laugh at the horrible acting and even more horrible music.

ZOMBI 4: AFTER DEATH (1989)

Directed by Claudio Fragasso (who also helped direct ZOMBI 3) this movie somehow manages to be even more ridiculous and trashy than it's predecessor. It focuses on a zombie outbreak which occurs on a tropical island. A team of researchers trying to find a cure for cancer test out their serum on a young girl but to no avail. She dies and her father - a Voodoo priest - curses the researchers and the entire island by opening a gate to hell and unleashing the undead. From the terrible (yet somehow awesome) 80s electro theme song all the way to the closing credits, this movie stinks. The acting is abysmal, the English dubbing is horrible and distracting, the characters are stupid and the movie even recycles a couple of actors from ZOMBI 3. The gore and effects are decent when you take into consideration the low budget but everything else is crap. Also worth noting is that somebody thought it would be a good idea to have pornstar Jeff Stryker star in this.




ZOMBI 5: KILLING BIRDS (1988)

This movie was never supposed to be a part of ZOMBI franchise and was initially released in Italy under the title UCCELLI ASSASSINI. But when ZOMBI 4 made money (somehow) upon its US release, this was released as ZOMBI 5. I won't even try to explain the 'plot' because it is so incoherent. There's something about a guy killing his wife then being blinded by a bird, some students looking for woodpeckers and a house in the middle of a swamp. The title is extremely misleading since zombies only appear towards the end and nobody is killed by any birds. ZOMBI 5: KILLING BIRDS is by far the worst of the franchise. The acting is somehow worse than in all of the previous films, the screenplay makes absolutely no sense whatsoever and the gore and effects are cheap and nasty. The characters all wander around making the stupidest decisions possible and some scenes completely contradict others. Don't watch this movie. Ever.

Horror Feast: Sushi Typhoon

For those who don't know, Sushi Typhoon is a Japanese production company specializing in low budget horror, sci-fi & fantasy films. A collective consisting of directors Takashi Miike (ICHI THE KILLER), Yoshihiro Nishimura (TOKYO GORE POLICE), Sion Sono (SUICIDE CLUB), Noboru Iguchi (THE MACHINE GIRL), Tak Sakaguchi (YOROI: SAMURAI ZOMBIE), Yudai Yamaguchi (BATTLEFIELD BASEBALL) and Seiji Chiba (EVIL NINJA).
If you've seen any of the movies I've just mentioned then you should have a pretty good idea of what you're in for when it comes to a Sushi Typhoon release. For those who haven't, well buckets of blood, absurd amounts of violence and cheap digital effects are the order of the day.
So without further ado, let's get into this shit.

DEADBALL (2011)

As a young child, Jubei discovers the insanely powerful force of his pitching arm when he unwittingly destroys his father's head with a baseball. Needless to say he vows never to play ball again. Cut to a few years later and Jubei is a vigilante, visiting violence upon evil-doers. He is caught and sent to a prison for juveniles which is run by a Nazi headmistress who encourages him to join the prison ball team. But their first match against the ridiculously hot and brutal Saint Black Dahlia girls reveals that this is no ordinary baseball game. Blood is what the spectators have come to see.
Exploding heads, elbow-deep cavity searches, vomit eating, Nazis and robots, this movie has it all. And the lead character Jubei (played to perfection by Tak Sakaguchi) is so awesomely cool that he can pluck lit cigarettes out of thin air any time he wants.
Sure the acting isn't great, the story either, and the special effects are cheesy as fuck, but all in all DEADBALL is a explosively fun movie with plenty of gore and humor and is very entertaining.

YAKUZA WEAPON (2011)

Tak Sakaguchi once more takes centre stage but rather than being a juvenile delinquent with a killer pitching arm, here he plays Shozo the unstoppable Yakuza killing machine. Just like Jubei in DEADBALL, Shozo is almost impossibly cool. Like so cool that he can scare landmines just by glaring at them, or catch RPGs with his bare hands, or stand in the middle of a jungle firefight smoking a cigarette while bullets go whizzing past his head. That cool.
Shozo returns to Japan after 4 years abroad to avenge the death of his father who was a big time Yakuza boss. Upon returning to his family's former headquarters he learns that his father was betrayed. Violence and action ensue. But it's not until he gets a cyborg makeover that things get really exciting. A mixture of ROBOCOP & MACHINE GIRL & that special something that only the Japanese seem to possess, YAKUZA WEAPON is over the top, non-stop action with a huge body count.

HELLDRIVER (2011)

DEADBALL and YAKUZA WEAPON may have been totally bizarre but Yoshihiro Nishimura's HELLDRIVER is on a whole other level. A meteorite has crashed in Japan, releasing a cloud of toxic ash which turns people into bloodthirsty zombies (not technically zombies but whatever). Young girl Kika leads a group charged with tracking down and killing the zombie queen - who just so happens to be her crazy, homicidal mother.
Kika carries with her a chainsaw/katana hybrid; a chainsword (not sure if that's what it's called but it's definitely what it should be called). Needless to say chainsword + zombies = lots of blood and limbs flying all over the place. Other things you will see in this strange fucking movie include a car made out of zombies (seriously), lots of exploding heads, flesh eating, and of course gallons and gallons of the red stuff. What more could you ask for?

MUTANT GIRLS SQUAD (2010)

Tak Sakaguchi, Yoshihiro Nishimura and Noboru Iguchi work together to bring forth the ridiculous insanity that is MUTANT GIRLS SQUAD. It follows young schoolgirl Rin, who on her 16th birthday discovers that she is the descendant of an ancient race of mutants known as Hilko. She sees her parents killed in front of her and is rescued and recruited by a group of Hilko who train her so that she can understand her full powers. After being sent on her first mission, Rin finds herself unable to kill innocent humans and so confronts the other Hilko. Basically this is a bloody, gory riff on the X-Men, full of lowbrow humor, cheap effects and sexy mutant schoolgirls. Their 'super powers' range from claws and tentacle arms right through to titty-swords and ass-chainsaws. And the blood, oh the blood. There is tons of the stuff. It's everywhere, raining down, splattering the camera, shooting out of limbless stumps. So much blood.

REC 3: GENESIS (2012) Review

Directed by: Paco Plaza

Starring: Leticia Dolera, Diego Martin, Javier Botet

One thing you need to know before you decide to watch REC 3 is that it is very, very different from the previous two films. I don't consider this a spoiler, I consider it important information because you need to realize that what you're going to see isn't a simple rehash of the first two movies. I've kept myself from reading any reviews so far but I have heard a lot of people complaining about this movie, and most of those complaints seem to be about how different it is. If you really want to watch a franchise where the same movie is rewritten over and over there are plenty of them out there. 

Clara (Dolera) and Koldo (Martin) are celebrating their wedding day. Surrounded by friends and family it will be the happiest day of their lives. Or will it? Of course not, the movie would be pointless if things didn't go horribly wrong. After character introductions, the swapping of vows, some singing, dancing and drunken relatives, the action begins. The outbreak first seen in REC's apartment building is brought out of the dark and into the daylight. During the chaos Clara and Koldo are separated and find themselves fighting for their lives. Will they find each other before it's too late?

Being a wedding, this is the perfect setting for some handheld camera action. But in stark contrast to the previous entries the POV angle is soon discarded and replaced with a more normal style of filming which makes up the majority of the movie. The setting is for the most part the polar opposite of the dark, claustrophobic apartment building seen in the first two REC films. Here we are treated to brightly lit, open spaces with loads of people before darkness eventually falls and we find ourselves in familiar territory.

There's so much more I want to say but I don't want to spoil things for anybody. One thing I will say however is that GENESIS is a slower paced, more emotionally and even humorously charged kind of horror film. Which is not a bad thing by any means. The acting is good and the two leads do a great job. Leticia Dolera definitely stole the show though. Of course the movie does have its negative points too. The main one of these I thought was the loss of some seemingly key characters early on with little explanation.

Another thing you need to keep in mind is that REC 3 takes place before and during the events of the first film, so don't expect a continuation of the original story so much as a fresh perspective on the outbreak. A lot of people are going to hate this movie and a lot are going to love it, I don't see there being any middle ground. Personally I fall into the latter category. I fucking loved it.
If you are interested in seeing the progression of the original story then you'll have to wait until REC 4: APOCALYPSE is released.

EXIT HUMANITY (2012) Review

Directed by: John Geddes

Starring: Mark Gibson, Adam Seybold, Bill Moseley, Dee Wallace

The zombie film is probably the one subgenre of horror movies which is the most oversaturated and has been done to death (pun intended). Every year zombie films come out and I'd say that around 95% of them are absolute crap. It's nice to see people taking a different approach whether it's comedy (SHAUN OF THE DEAD) or the transition to television (THE WALKING DEAD) but unless you bring something entirely new to the zombie film it will be quickly forgotten and thrown on top of the ever growing pile of shit.

To be honest there has only been one zombie movie in the last decade or so which I have actually enjoyed and that was the Ford brothers' THE DEAD from last year. Fortunately however I can now add EXIT HUMANITY to that very short list because it is fantastic.

Towards the end of the American Civil War there is a zombie outbreak which ravages the human population and two of its victims are the wife and son of Edward Young (Gibson). To fulfil a promise made before his son died, Edward starts on a journey to deliver his ashes to a place which holds special meaning to him. Along his way he meets up with a survivor Isaac (Seybold) who ropes him in to save his sister from the evil General Williams (Moseley) who is experimenting with humans to try and discover a cure for the zombie plague. After rescuing her, Isaac and Edward find a woman named Eve (Wallace) who holds a terrible secret. Edward finally delivers his son's ashes but comes back to find his friends kidnapped by Williams and so he formulates a plan to rescue them.

EXIT HUMANITY is told in the form of a journal which is narrated by Edward's descendant Malcolm Young (voiced by Brian Cox). Brian's voice is perfectly suited for this role and the narration is a nice accompaniment to the visuals. The movie is divided into chapters and interspersed within these chapters is another interesting addition in the form of short animations. 

The cinematography is good and the period setting is really well done, I can imagine only true Civil War enthusiasts would find problems with it. The acting is good with an exceptionally great performance by Mark Gibson in his first lead role. And when taking the small budget into consideration everything is better than you might expect, even the practical effects look nice.

EXIT HUMANITY might not be quite what you'd expect from a zombie film, and as a matter of fact the zombies take a back seat for most of the movie. They act more as a catalyst for the characters' actions rather than being the main focus. The pace is fairly slow but thankfully the running time is short enough for this to be too much of a problem. A nice fresh take on the zombie genre and well worth checking out.

PRIMAL (2010) Review

Directed by: Josh Reed

Starring: Krew Boylan, Lindsay Farris, Wil Traval, Zoe Tuckwell-Smith

A group of friends take a road trip to check out some ancient Aboriginal cave paintings which apparently nobody has seen in over 120 years. One of the guys Dace (Traval) is working on his thesis and the rest of the group are basically just tagging along for some camping and adventure.
A group of friends taking a trip out into the wilderness? Could it get anymore cliché? Of course it could.
The first half hour or so of the movie introduces us to the characters who are exactly as we expect them to be. There is the couple who seemingly came along only for the chance to fuck in their tent. There is the girl with a past traumatic experience which she must overcome, there is the leader of the group, the joker and another girl thrown in with the single purpose of dying horribly.
But soon after taking a nude dip in some leech infested water, Mel (Boylan) begins a horrifying transformation. First she breaks out in a fever, starts talking gibberish and then her teeth fall out and are finally replaced by extra long pointed fangs. She reverts back to some primal, animal-like state and begins violently attacking her friends. Before long they realize that face a moral dilemma. Do they kill Mel or do they risk death themselves by trying to capture her alive?

PRIMAL reminds me of movies like The Ruins and Cabin Fever but especially the latter, with the protagonists being pitted against not only a killer virus but also against each other. I'm not a huge fan of either though and I actually have to say that I preferred PRIMAL over both of them.
The first hour or so gets pretty intense particularly after Mel's transformation, and the way the friends deal with their situation is intriguing to say the least. After Mel kills and then chows down on one of them, the rest seem to make up their mind that she needs to be killed. All of course except for her stupid boyfriend Chad (Farris) who seems to think that she's 'still in there' and that he can 'get through to her'.
Apart from the sometimes frustratingly stupid characters and the shoddy looking CGI (especially the scenes involving any kind of super-high jumping or people being thrown) I found the movie to be entertaining and engaging and it kept me intrigued right up until the last 20 minutes or so where things fell apart a little. The final scene however did get a little chuckle from me.

Despite being about as predictable and cliché as you can get and not scary at all, I actually found PRIMAL to be an enjoyable enough movie with some good action scenes, decent acting and a fair amount of blood. Veteran horror fans will find nothing new here, but casual watchers will probably enjoy it although the violence (including rocks smashing heads, teethe falling out, throats being torn open etc) may be a little too much for some.

THE DEAD (2011) Review

Directed by: Howard J. Ford, Jonathan Ford

Starring: Rob Freeman, Prince David Oseia

I'll start by saying that this is not your typical zombie movie. If you're looking for a fast paced movie with huge hordes of undead and buckets of gore, then you might be a little disappointed. That's not to say that there weren't plenty of zombies and head shots in THE DEAD, but it is a lot different to films like the Dawn of the Dead remake. I guess you could say it's a more serious and mature zombie film, and as a matter of fact it probably more accurately fits into the same category as those apocalyptic road movies like The Road, where the main characters are on a long journey facing threats along the way. It's definitely a very bleak and desolate film, which is helped immensely by the location. It was shot primarily in Burkina Faso, Africa and the wide open landscape ranges from sandy deserts to mountain ranges. But no matter where the two main companions travel, the undead are waiting for them.

American Airforce Engineer Lieutenant Brian Murphy (Freeman) was on the last evacuation plane out of Africa after the dead started coming back to life. Unfortunately they were attacked before the plane was properly prepared, and consequently it crashes into the ocean just off the coast. Murphy washes up on a beach and is immediately set upon the the undead. After fighting his way from the beach he comes across a small abandoned community and finds a partially taken apart ute. Being an engineer, he quickly has the ute back together just as the zombies catch up with him. He takes off through the scrub and eventually gets stuck, but is helped out by an African soldier named Daniel (Oseia). The two don't get along so well to begin with, but realizing that they're better off working together they travel together.

While Brian is trying to find a way out of the continent, Daniel has a different problem. His village was attacked by the zombies and his wife was killed. His son however was among the survivors, and Daniel believes him to be at a military base in the north. After finding a small airport with no planes or helicopters in sight, Brian accepts that his best chance will be to follow Daniel to the military base. They continue their journey while fighting off the undead and trying their best to survive.

I know it probably doesn't sound like a really interesting story, but the emphasis isn't on the actual plot itself, but rather the two main characters and their quest. While at first they seem suspicious and wary of each other, they soon form a friendship and come to depend on each other. The movie does move at a bit of a slow pace, but it is steady and I never found myself bored. And even though the emphasis is on storytelling and character development, there is still enough gore and terror to satisfy most horror fans. The night scenes in particular, where the headlights of the ute suddenly wash across a zombie on the road are really kind of creepy and claustrophobic. And there are enough of those panicky moments too, like when the radiator overheats and the zombies are advancing from all around. And for a low budget film, the attention to detail that has gone into this is pretty amazing. The make-up fx are excellent (no CGI here), and I heard that they even used amputees to play some of the zombies. Another thing that makes THE DEAD stand out is the fact that it wasn't filmed digitally, but rather on old fashioned 35mm film, and you can really see the difference.

I'm going to make a bold statement here and say that THE DEAD might just be the best zombie film I've seen since Romero's Night of the Living Dead. It's definitely worth a watch, and is a personal favorite film of the year so far. I'd give it full marks except that I found Rob Freeman's acting to be not the best, and there were maybe a couple of scenes which were a little slow.

[REC] (2007) Review

Directed by: Jaume Balaguero, Paco Plaza

Starring: Manuela Velasco, Ferran Terraza, Jorge-Yamam Serrano, Pablo Rosso

After reviewing High Tension I thought I'd continue with the foreign language theme. This film hails from Spain and it is definitely a movie that every horror fan needs to see. 

The plot revolves around a young TV reporter Angela (Manuela Velasco) and her cameraman Pablo (Pablo Rosso) who are filming a documentary on the late night lives of firefighters. After filming in and around the fire station, the firefighters get a routine call about a woman stuck in her apartment. Angela and Pablo go along for the ride. But things take a turn for the worst when the rescuers are attacked by the woman who turns out to be a zombie. Before long the survivors are trapped inside the apartment building as the military have put it under quarantine. With no immediate means of escape, all they can do is try to survive.

Since I was never really a fan of found footage / handheld horror films, (I think the Blair Witch Project kinda killed it for me) I wasn't really expecting much from this. And after the first 5 or ten minutes I was certain that it was going to suck. But when the action finally starts, it doesn't end until the credits roll. The concept is simple, but rather than being your average zombie movie REC is a rollercoaster ride of fear, claustrophobia and chaos. And the final scene is terrifying.

An American remake by the name of Quarantine has been made which I haven't seen. But apparently it is pretty much a scene for scene remake. I can't imagine it being any better than this, and I really urge you to see this movie. REC 2 is also out and REC 3 is on the way.