THE CEMETERY (2013) Review

Directed by: Adam Ahlbrandt

Starring: J.D. Brown, Natalie Jean, Adam Huss, Tim Cronin, Tabetha Ray

Last month I had the opportunity to check Adam Ahlbrandt's take on the slasher genre; CROSS BEARER which was a bloody, gritty, gory affair filled with sex, drugs and violence. In other words it was awesome.
And while THE CEMETERY trades in the masked killer for more of a demonic possession tale it still keeps all of the aforementioned goodies intact while throwing in a brutal soundtrack to top it all off.

To provide us with some background the film begins by taking us all the way back to 1671 where a group of priests try in vain to exorcise demons from their unwitting hosts. Brutally tortured and eventually killed, these victims are buried in a secret cemetery, the location of which is hidden to all but the church.Cut to the present and we meet a team of paranormal investigators who host their own reality show Ghost Seekers. After investigating abandoned prisons, haunted houses and the like they are yet to find any substantial evidence of ghosts or ghouls. This with the help of a stolen church document their next destination is that very same cemetery where the demonically possessed were buried after being tortured and killed. But what will the Ghost Seekers do when their faced with a real demonic threat?

After enjoying CROSS BEARER so much I was a little worried that this follow up would fall short, but it turns out that I didn't need to be so worried because THE CEMETERY rocks. It has a great ensemble cast with some familiar faces returning from CROSS BEARER like J.D. Brown who plays the likeable Bill, Natalie Jean who spends most of her on screen time covered in blood and gore, and Tim Cronin who plays a bit of a douchebag. Then there's Adam Huss in the role of Tim; the horny, pot smoking comic relief and Tabetha Ray the bitchy medium. And a special mention to Burning Angel's Draven Star whose only job was to look smoking hot and she did it well indeed.
Everything that made CROSS BEARER so good is also on display here, from the masses of blood and gore to the tits and ass and a fittingly dark and foreboding atmosphere. And once again the make-up and effects are all practical and that in itself always score big points with me.

Another point worth mentioning is the film's soundtrack which is comprised mostly of heavy metal, which I personally love but it certainly won't fit everybody's taste. If you don't like the prospect of a soundtrack featuring band names like Fleshgod Apocalypse, Circle of Dead Children or Squash Bowels then this may not be for you. On the other hand if that sounds right up your alley then you're bound to have a great time.

I may have sad this before but Adam Ahlbrandt is definitely a filmmaker to look out for. He makes movies that horror fans want to see. Films packed with blood, guts, tits and ass; this is the stuff that reminds me why I started watching horror flicks in the first place. It's not without its imperfections but even the minor criticisms I may have about THE CEMETERY are far outweighed by all of the positives and the film's overall entertainment quality. And as much as I loved CROSS BEARER I think I probably enjoyed this a little more so it's getting an extra half a star.

CROSS BEARER (2012) Review

Directed by: Adam Ahlbrandt

Starring: Natalie Jean, Isaac Williams, Kacie Marie

Originality and progressiveness are two things I love when I'm watching a horror film. And although these seem to be rare traits nowadays, an original concept or a twist that throws me completely off is what really gets me off. However when I sit down to watch a slasher I really couldn't give a fuck about any of that stuff. No, when I watch a slasher all I really need is some gore, a nice body count and a ruthless killer. And if there's some gritty atmosphere, sleaze and some nice boob action well then that's even better. More recent films like LAID TO REST and THE ORPHAN KILLER have delivered nicely on this front and I'm glad to say that CROSS BEARER has all of these goodies and plenty more.

Heather (Jean) doesn't exactly have the best life. In fact to put it bluntly, it fucking sucks. Her live-in girlfriend is a coke-head, her boss is a sleazy, abusive asshole and the patrons at her place of employment heckle and harass her. She desperately needs an escape plan and she thinks that she has just found the perfect opportunity. Her boss Harry not only runs the strip joint she works at but also deals drugs on the side. With a sizeable deal lined up he organizes for Heather to make the exchange and return with the cash when it's over. However Heather has other plans. In collusion with her lover Bunny (Marie) she plans to complete the deal but rather than returning to Harry with the cash the two lovers will head off to Greece to begin a new life. A perfect plan, at least in theory. But when the deal doesn't go to plan and the Cross Bearer (Williams) starts picking off his victims, Heather and Bunny's dream quickly becomes a nightmare.

Heather, Bunny and friends arrive at an abandoned warehouse where they are supposed to be meeting their buyer. This provides the film with two essential ingredients; a healthy amount of bodies and nice, big, creepy location for the villain to lurk and stalk. Little do they know however that the Cross Bearer awaits within and has already dispatched of their customer. Little is actually explained about our killer and exactly why he is the way he is but it's safe to assume that he isn't quite right in the head and religion has played an important part in his twisted mindset. He is a religious zealot who has charged himself with purifying the world of it's sinners. And how does he go about this? Why with a carpenter's hammer of course! And wearing a cloth over his head he does bring to mind a certain Jason Voorhees, although I took this to be an homage rather than just a rip-off. Either way this hooded Jesus freak gets down and dirty with his hammer.

The effects work in CROSS BEARER is quite remarkable and comes courtesy of Doug Sakmann who will also be doing effects for the upcoming RETURN TO NUKE 'EM HIGH. And you can breathe a sigh of relief because yes the gore and effects are all practical. There's plenty of blood and brain matter splattering the walls and floor here. This movie is dark and gritty, and not just in the gore department. The locations are grimy and sleazy, (the strip club isn't exactly the Spearmint Rhino) the characters are much the same (Harry the club owner is a detestable creep) and there is plenty of cursing, drug use and sex scenes. Director Adam Ahldbrandt knows exactly what horror fan want and that's plenty of gore and plenty of sleaze.

As for acting I'd say that it's mostly average but with a particularly good performance from Natalie Jean as Heather, but since when is great acting something you look for in a slasher anyway? All of the performances are good enough that they don't detract from the viewing experience and for an indie flick that's pretty good in my book. The soundtrack is appropriate and the audio effects were nice as well. The solid sound of hammer colliding with head is infinitely satisfying.

Essentially CROSS BEARER is everything I look for in a slasher film. It's dark, gritty, sleazy and has plenty of blood, brains and boobs. Sure it's lacking in the originality department, the acting isn't the best and there may be a few other hiccups here and there but even with those criticisms I would still say that CROSS BEARER is one of the most satisfying slashers I've seen in quite some time. It's not something I'd recommend for mainstream horror fans but if you can handle everything I've detailed in this review then definitely check it out.

THE EXTERMINATOR (1980) Review

Directed by: James Glickenhaus

Starring: Robert Ginty, Christopher George, Steve James

Vigilante revenge flicks have always been a favorite of mine. Whether somebody has been raped or tortured or had their families killed it always feels good to see the victim get even, and then some.
THE EXTERMINATOR takes this most basic of premises and although it doesn’t really add anything new it still comes across as a decent DEATH WISH-like vigilante film.

The movie opens with an explosive Vietnam War prelude with bullets flying and bombs exploding all over the place. A small group of American soldiers find themselves surrounded and captured by the Viet Cong and after one of them is killed (in a surprisingly satisfying decapitation sequence) another soldier Mike (James) attacks the enemy and saves his fellow soldier John's (Ginty) life. Obviously taking place on a sound stage, this sequence was actually shot in only 4 days as an afterthought, perhaps to try and add something different to the film but more probably to give it a bit of an APOCALYPSE NOW vibe.

Post Vietnam and the two surviving American soldiers John Eastland and his pal Michael are settling into their civilian lives, but when Mike is mugged by a gang of street thugs calling themselves the Ghetto Ghouls, his neck is broken and he is left paralyzed and unable to speak. John swears revenge on the gang and becomes The Exterminator. But wreaking revenge on his pal’s muggers is only the first step. Next he needs a quick way to come up with some money for Mike’s family since Mike obviously can’t work anymore. Eventually he finds himself involved with an abused prostitute and soon he’s wiping all kinds of scum off of the streets. But of course not all of this goes unnoticed and soon the police and CIA are hot on his trail.
The traumatic experience of war is something I hope I’ll never have to go through, but we’ve all heard stories and seen films which show what can happen to a soldier’s mind (FIRST BLOOD being a perfect example). I suppose this was the reason the extra Vietnam scenes were added in afterwards, to give John a better excuse for flying completely off the handle.

And of course the film wants you to side with John Eastland so it throws in the type of villains you have to hate; thugs, gangsters and child molesters, leaving you to cheer on The Exterminator as he blows them all away. Well that’s the theory anyway, but John isn’t exactly the kind of guy you feel like cheering on. He’s much too bland a character and after he achieves revenge he really has no cause to kill anymore, so why does he?

After the decapitation at the movie’s beginning, I had expected the violence to continue throughout, but it’s really nowhere near as brutal or graphic as I had expected (or hoped) which was a bit disappointing.
There is a nice scene involving an industrial sized meat grinder but for an exploitation flick which was banned in more than one country you would expect to see a lot more explicit violence.

There is an unnecessary romantic sub-plot involving the cop James Dalton (George) jammed in there and also an underdeveloped plot involving the CIA which was very sloppily inserted in the film. The script and dialogue are pretty terrible (when asked what Vietnam was like, all that Detective Dalton can reply with is that “It was bad”) and the acting ranges from average to shit.

THE EXTERMINATOR isn't such a bad movie really, and for an exploitation flick it ticks all the boxes. It probably could have been a bit more violent in my opinion, but mostly by the time the credits roll the movie will make you realize just how much better a film like DEATH WISH is. Recommended for exploitation fans but others may be disappointed.

DEATH RACE 2000 (1975) Review

Directed by: Paul Bartel

Starring: David Carradine, Sylvester Stallone, Simone Griffeth

In the far off futuristic year 2000 the United States of America is no more. Now a fascist police state, the United Provinces is run by Mr. President who satisfies the citizens with a new type of gladiatorial sport, the Annual Transcontinental Road Race. Far from being an ordinary race this one takes place across three days and finishing first isn't the only way to win. The competitors are encouraged to run down as many pedestrians as possible, with different age groups giving the drivers a certain amount of points. Teenagers are worth 40 points, toddlers and children under 12 earn 70 points and the big score is anybody over the age of 75, giving the driver a whopping 100 points each.

Five drivers and their navigators take part in the race but it is the mysterious driver Frankenstein (Carradine) who takes centre stage. The masked, caped man is the government's champion and has supposedly been rebuilt many times over after losing arms, legs, eyes and other body parts in previous races. He wears a mask to hide his horribly disfigured face.

But as simple as things may seem at first, there is a rogue element involved; a rebel group who's aim is to stop the race and take down the oppressive government. They've even managed to plant one of their own as a death race navigator...

Let's get something out of the way first; DEATH RACE 2000 is a badly made film. Roger Corman pretty much cobbled it together in a hurry to take advantage of the publicity for ROLLERBALL. He wanted a futuristic action, sports film and so optioned the short story The Racer by Ib Melchior and had it adapted into a screenplay. But when I say it's badly made that in no way means that it is a bad movie. It is in fact a very entertaining piece of b-movie exploitation, full of droll humor and satire and has deservedly gained a cult following and became the inspiration for the classic videogame Carmageddon. Some even argue that Darth Vader was modelled somewhat on Frankenstein which given their similarities seems entirely possible.

The acting is campy, the story and dialogue border on the ridiculous and the fight scene between Frankenstein and his rival Machine Gun Joe (Stallone) is the most hilarious and badly choreographed you will see, but I can't seem to help loving the shit out of this movie. And the droll humor comes thick and fast, with some hilarious moments like the 'Euthanasia Day' at the geriatric hospital and the government blaming the rebel attacks on the French. I also love the Wile E. Coyote type tricks that the rebels use, like the ol' fake tunnel gag.

Many people would say that DR2K glorifies violence but I think I'd have to disagree. To me it's just one big parody, in fact it parodies a lot of things but mostly America's obsession with cars, violence and sports. There's obviously an attempt at a political message here too but it's not as strong as it could be and I'm glad because I think if it were it might have detracted from the rest of the film.

For pure trashy, b-grade exploitation DEATH RACE 2000 is a brilliant movie and I think the best part about it is that even through Corman's aim was to piggyback off of ROLLERBALL, his DEATH RACE went on to become a much better and more widely celebrated film. A must-see for fans of exploitation, trash and b-movies. It also has one of Stallone's best performances (which admittedly isn't saying much).

FEMALE PRISONER SCORPION: BEAST STABLE (1973) Review

Directed by: Shunya Ito

Starring: Meiko Kaji, Mikio Narita, Yayoi Watanabe

The third (and last of the franchise to be directed by Ito) FEMALE PRISONER film feels a lot different to both of its predecessors. In fact apart from a single extended sequence at the film's end, the setting is taken outside of prison walls and into the wide world beyond. But in a way the outside world seems like its own penitentiary.

Matsu has escaped prison once again and is trying her best to settle into whatever kind of 'normal' life she can. The film opens with a brilliant sequence (probably the best opening for any of the films so far) in which Scorpion is seated in a subway car trying her best to blend in. Two police officers recognize her and try to detain her. One officer manages to get a handcuff around her wrist (the other cuff around his own) but she manages to slip out the door of the train just as it is closing. The only way to escape is for her to cut off the officer's arm which she does so swiftly just in time for the opening credits in a wonderful sequence showing her running through the busy streets with a disembodied arm swinging from her wrist.
A new character is also introduced in this third film, a distraught young woman named Yuki (who coincidentally is played by Yayoi Watanabe who played Yuki in the original film) who sells her body in order to provide for herself and her mentally retarded brother. She also gives up her body for her own brother to satisfy his sexual desires.

The two women meet in a cemetery and strike up a strange kind of mutual friendship most likely fuelled by their similar predicaments. Both women are trapped in their own prisons and have next to no opportunity at living a normal life. But while Matsu responds to scenarios with her patented violent vengeance Yuki is seemingly cursed with getting fucked over and over again. Her only real means of escape is the terrible thought of killing her very own brother.

Although BEAST STABLE is still firmly an exploitation flick it is quite a bit more tame than the previous two films although it does include incest, torture, forced abortion and some nudity. And as usual no woman can take more than 5 steps outside without being accosted and having her clothes ripped off. As for the story itself it is fairly well told but at times does feel a little disjointed especially when it comes to the ending which was awesome in itself but ultimately felt almost tacked on.

Shunya Ito is a masterful director and it's a shame that over a 40 year career he has only directed around 14 films, and more of a shame that BEAST STABLE marked the end of his involvement in this series. But to be honest he chose a good time to end it because the way this film ends there is no need for any more sequels even though Meiko Kaji would later return to her role in the fourth film GRUDGE SONG.
BEAST STABLE is easily Ito's bleakest film in his trilogy which I found almost ironic since it is set in the 'free' world outside of prison. In one scene Kaji's character is even reduced to tears which is something I never would have expected. And although the symbolism from the previous movies is not quite so prevalent here there are some wonderful scenes - my favorite showing the lit matches drifting down into the dark depths of the sewer, a few at a time first and then eventually a downpour of them.

BEAST STABLE is a lot different from Ito's other FEMALE PRISONER movies and if you're looking for another WIP film then you may be sorely disappointed. However it is a great film in its own right and showcases some nice storytelling, more of Ito's unusual artful style and some decent acting. And of course once again Meiko Kaji plays the role of Scorpion to perfection.

FEMALE PRISONER SCORPION: JAILHOUSE 41 (1972) Review

Directed by: Shunya Ito

Starring: Meiko Kaji, Fumio Watanabe, Kayoko Shiraishi

The second film in the FEMALE PRISONER series is an entirely different beast when compared to the original. In fact the vast majority of the film takes place outside the prison walls, and since the women it focuses on are no longer in prison JAILHOUSE 41 isn't technically a Women In Prison movie but it's sleazy exploitation just the same.

The film opens with Matsu (Reiko) back in prison, in solitary confinement. The warden Goda (Watanabe) has decided to let her out but only for one day because a high profile inspector is visiting the prison. During a ceremony Matsu attacks the warden and a short riot breaks out but is soon quelled. Later during a prison transfer Matsu manages to escape along with six other prisoners. They take refuge in an old abandoned village while the authorities try to track them down.

Much like the first movie JAILHOUSE 41 has some excellent cinematography and director Ito has cranked up the surreal artful style with plenty of odd sequences including an interesting scene where the prisoners meet an old woman and a monologue is given for each prisoner explaining how and why they ended up in prison. There is a lot more character development this time around although more so in regards to the other six women than for Matsu herself. Particular attention is paid to Oba (Shiraishi), a woman who drowned her two year old son and then stabbed her unborn child to death. Oba and Matsu don't exactly have the best relationship. Matsu manages to get under her skin while saying basically nothing (much like the first film) but she has that deadly stare perfected and it's all she needs to drive Oba nuts.

JAILHOUSE 41 also has a nice score much like its predecessor and it reuses the Kaji sung theme song from the original along with an additional song also performed by her. However while we're on the subject of the film's audio, there are some strange sound effects incorporated in as well. Humorous "boing" noises are used for some undisclosed reason and whether they are to try and ease the harshness of the rape scene or not is not clear. Personally I found them a little distracting and felt that they didn't really fit in with the rest of the soundtrack.

Meiko Kaji does a brilliant job as Scorpion again and although her character isn't really developed much here she definitely gets more screen time than in the first film. Fumio Watanabe plays the evil warden Goda brilliantly once again and Kayoko Shiraishi does a great job as the crazy bitch Oba.

FEMALE PRISONER SCORPION: JAILHOUSE 41 is an excellent sequel and in fact I'd say it is on par with the first film. In some ways it may even be better but overall I think the original is a cut above. If you enjoyed the surreal arthouse styling of the first film then you'll love this sequel, and it still has enough exploitation goodness (including a somewhat random lesbian scene) for fans to enjoy. A brilliant follow up to the original FEMALE PRISONER movie.

FEMALE PRISONER #701: SCORPION (1972) Review

Directed by: Shunya Ito

Starring: Meiko Kaji, Rie Yokoyama, Isao Natsuyagi

Women In Prison (WIP) films are usually pretty reliable for a few things, namely a lot of gratuitous nudity, lesbian scenes, catfights, abuse, cruelty, torture, rape and evil prison guards. They are rarely anything special when it comes to story or character development but FEMALE PRISONER #701: SCORPION goes above and beyond what you'd normally expect from a WIP film. While it does exhibit nudity, violence and sadistic guards, SCORPION also has a nice strong lead, a great director, some sweet action scenes and an unusual artful edge to it. It's no ordinary WIP film.

Nami Matsushima (Kaji) is roped into helping the love of her life Sugimi (Natsuyagi) with a drug sting he is pulling at work. After being set up by Sugimi and being raped she has only one thing on her mind: revenge. An attempt to slice up Sugimi with a knife on the front steps of the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Headquarters (not a smart move) goes wrong and she is arrested and thrown in prison. Although strangely Nami refused to testify against Sugimi, he still sees her as a big problem and makes a deal with another prisoner Katagiri (Yokoyama) for Nami to fall victim to an 'accidental' death in prison. But Nami has her heart set on escaping and seeking revenge against her former lover, and nothing will stop her.

The film begins with a jailbreak. Nami and another prisoner have escaped and are on the run and the warden is understandably pissed. The dogs are released and eventually Nami is returned to the prison where all of the inmates are punished for her escape attempt. Soon she not only has the prisoners against her but also another inmate Katagiri who is out to kill her, and the sadistic guards who are set on breaking her. A riot breaks out giving Nami the perfect chance to escape and get her revenge.

Despite the rape and abuse Nami is less a victim than a kind of anti-hero. She stays determined and defiant at all times and no matter how hard the prisoners and guards try to break her she stands strong and perseveres. The most amazing thing however is that she utters barely a single word (in fact this is true for the entire series of films) and instead displays her thoughts and feelings via strong facial expressions. And Meiko Kaji does a great job playing the strong, silent lead. She is beautiful and cruel, fragile and strong all at the same time. She also happens to sing the film's theme song which was later used by Quentin Tarantino in his strong female / martial arts homage KILL BILL.

The most unusual angle (and one of the highlights) is the way that SCORPION manages to so brilliantly combine the elements of trashy exploitation with a surreal arthouse style. One of the best examples is when Nami is being chased through the showers by a demonic looking Katagiri wielding a shard of glass. The experimental camera angles and lighting used throughout the film are not what you'd expect from such a movie, but they are very welcome indeed. FEMALE PRISONER #701: SCORPION is arguably the best film in the series and is a fantastic example and introduction to the WIP subgenre. For exploitation fans this one is a must see.

SEX AND FURY (1973) Review

Directed by: Noribumi Suzuki

Starring: Reiko Ike, Christina Lindberg, Ogin Shitateya

I'm not altogether familiar with Pinky Violence films and I'm sure a lot of other people are in the same boat. But I've found a nice explanation on Listal which seems to sum up the genre fairly well.

"Pinky Violence is a film genre that developed out of the Japanese New Wave in the late sixties and blossomed into it’s own during the early seventies. The term came from the way the films mixed the erotic elements found in Pink Films (a.k.a. Roman Porno) with the action and violence found in Yakuza crime films. They are often grouped in with sexploitation films because of their excessive nudity, over the top gore and low budget production. 
These films have influenced many Western directors such as Russ Meyer, Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez"

So in the most basic of terms Pinky Violence films are "sexed up, bad girl action films" punctuated with lots of nudity, erotic scenes and strong female leads. I stumbled upon Grindhouse Database's "Pinky Violence: A Beginner's Guide" and as suggested I checked out SEX AND FURY for an introduction to the genre. By this point it's still the only Pinky Violence flick I've seen, but if it's representative of the genre then I am most definitely a fan.

The general outline of SEX AND FURY is simple. It's a revenge flick. A young girl witnesses the murder of her detective father by three men who escape with some important evidence. With the last of his strength the dying detective provides a clue to the identity of his killers by arranging three gambling cards with the images of a deer, a boar and a butterfly upon them. The young girl grows up and takes on the name of Inoshika Ocho (played by the lovely Reiko Ike). What the English subtitles failed to mention however is that this name is taken from the Japanese words for wild boar (Inoshishi), deer (Shika) and butterfly (Chou) which I thought was a little too important not to mention.
As simple as the revenge story is, there is enough subplot going to make sure that the movie is never boring. Ocho encounters the idealistic young man Kurokawa who is intent on seeking his own revenge upon the corrupt politicians responsible for his father's downfall. Another player entering the story is the spy Christina (Swedish import and cult favorite Christina Lindberg) who has to choose between her important work and her love for the young rebel Kurokawa. Kurokawa's past also intersects upon Ochu's as he knows of her father's murder and can help her find the men responsible.

For a movie I had never heard of before I honestly wasn't expecting too much. I decided that if I saw a good amount of boobage then I would at least be satisfied if not impressed. What I didn't count on however was just how much I would love this movie. From the opening title sequence right through until the end SEX AND FURY is a gorgeous looking film with a great soundtrack, plenty of nudity and some nice action sequences. Reiko Ike is nice and easy on the eyes and seeing her fully nude and wielding a katana against a throng of bad guys in a snowstorm is truly a sight to behold. Lindberg unsurprisingly gets naked more than once also and gives us the film's only lesbian scene.

As for the violence there is plenty of it although it's not overly gory. Having said that though there is plenty of blood spraying all over the place particularly in the final sequence which was obviously a big influence on Tarantino and KILL BILL. Although SEX AND FURY sits easily inside the genre it is so well made that it would be unfair to view it simply as a Pinky Violence flick. The cinematography is great, the fight choreography is well done, the acting for the most part is good, the sets are nice and elaborate and the entire film is a visual treat. The only qualms I had were minor. There probably could have been a little more violence particularly near the middle of the movie, and also Christina Lindberg's acting isn't exactly what you'd call great. Getting to see her naked is always a plus though.

Apart from those very minor problems SEX AND FURY is definitely a film I would recommend not only to fans of sexploitation, grindhouse and pinky violence but to movie lovers in general.

MALABIMBA THE MALICIOUS WHORE (1979) Review

Directed by: Andrea Bianchi

Starring: Katell Laennec, Mariangela Giordano, Patrizia Webley, Enzo Fisichella

I'm not really all that familiar with these type of erotic Eurosleaze films but that's something I've decided to rectify, and what better film to begin with than one I heard described as an erotic, sleazy, Italian EXORCIST? The fact that it's directed by Andrea Bianchi (BURIAL GROUND) pretty much sealed the deal for me.

MALABIMBA opens with a séance as a family attempt to contact the spirit of Andrea's (Fisichella) deceased wife. As soon as the medium contacts a spirit however things start to get a little crazy. A woman's blouse is torn off exposing a large pair of breasts (of which we get to see a lot more of later in the film), a man's fly is pulled open and things start tumbling and flying off of shelves. A malevolent spirit is unleashed and makes its way to the resident nurse Sister Sofia (Giordano) in an attempt to possess her. Having been successfully resisted however the spirit makes its way to the younger and more vulnerable Bimba, the daughter of Andrea. Shortly thereafter Bimba begins showing some disturbing sexual tendencies which shock and disgust her family who have no idea she is possessed by an evil spirit.

The plot is very loose and there's good reason for that. This movie is first and foremost a sleazy sexploitation flick and the 'plot' is just an excuse to bind together a bunch of sex scenes. There is some unimportant subplot shoved in there somewhere but it too is also just an excuse to see more tits, pussy and cock.

Nais (Webley) is the busty woman whose bare chest we are treated to in the opening minutes of the movie. Her character is a slutty seductress who is basically willing to fuck any man she can, and since her husband is paralyzed and wheelchair-bound she has her sexy eye set on his brother Andrea. For most of her time on screen she wears little to no clothing and she also supplies a fair portion of the hardcore scenes. And when I say hardcore I mean it. The X-rated version has plenty of up close and personal penetration shots, masturbation and fellatio. They are more explicit than a movie like THEY CALL HER ONE EYE but somehow slightly less jarring which is probably due to their context (all of the hardcore scenes in ONE EYE are basically rape).

The possessed girl Bimba (Katell Laennec in her one and only film role ever) wanders around throughout the film either spying on people mid-coitus, seducing people (both male and female) and pleasuring herself with various plush toys. She is also involved in an incestuous death-by-fellatio scene (yes you read that correctly) which is equal parts disturbing and hilarious.

Throughout the movie Bimba's family obviously notice her bizarre behaviour but put it down to some sort of odd teen phase. I'll bet good ol' Dad realizes that it's not just a 'phase' when his daughter French kisses him and grabs his crotch though.

So there you have it. MALABIMBA is a cheap EXORCIST ripoff albeit a super sexy and sleazy version. If you're into Eurosleaze, sexploitation or just want to see some hardcore sex while without feeling guilty because you're not 'technically' watching porn, then MALABIMBA is for you. But if you hear the word 'possession' and expect a horror film you will be sorely disappointed. It is surprisingly a decent film though with an ending that wraps things up nicely and although there's nothing you could call a standout performance, Laennec gives a nice performance as the possessed and sexually charged Bimba.

THE MAN WITH THE IRON FISTS (2012) Review

Directed by: RZA

Starring: RZA, Russell Crowe, Lucy Liu

As far as Tarantino-directed movies go I fucking love them all (definitely looking forward to DJANGO UNCHAINED) but the films with 'Quentin Tarantino Presents..." plastered all over their posters and dvd cases are an entirely different story. HERO? Loved it. HELLRIDE? Complete crap. So I was a bit wary in the lead-up to watching IRON FISTS. What eventually won me over was Eli Roth's name and even though I'm not a Wu-Tang fan at all, I know of their affinity with all things kung fu and so I was pretty sure RZA could at least craft a half decent throwback film. As for his acting ability... well that's a different matter entirely.

The plot is fairly simple. RZA plays a blacksmith who lives and works in a small village in feudal china. This village is also home to several warring factions including a group of warriors known as the Lion Clan. The leader Gold Lion is betrayed and killed by Silver Lion. Gold Lion's son X-Blade understandably wants revenge and along the way joins up with the blacksmith and Jack Knife (Crowe) a British emissary for the Emperor.
There's also a ton of gold being fought over, a brothel full of assassin whores and a beefcake who can change his skin into bronze. Add in a cast of eclectic characters, some wacky weapons and an assload of fight sequences and that pretty much wraps things up.

I'm confused as to why I've been hearing so much bad feedback in regards to this film. What exactly do people expect from a kung fu movie directed by one of the Wu-Tang clan and a tagline which reads 'You can't spell Kung Fu without F and U'? The trailer itself is enough to inform you that what you're going to watch is an homage to all of the old chop socky flicks of the 70s. It's not supposed to be a serious film so nobody should take it seriously.

IRON FISTS does definitely have its issues though, the biggest I think being that the movie focuses on RZA's blacksmith character. It's almost as if an old kung fu movie has been taken and the blacksmith character has been spliced in. I would have preferred if it focused on X-Blade and his quest for vengeance rather than RZA and his emotionless performance for an hour and a half. His narration isn't any better either.
The story is quite disjointed too although this may be due to the fact that the original cut was four hours long and they've decided to slice it down to a mere 90 minutes. That's a lot of missing footage. Russell Crowe's character didn't really add much to the film either and most of the time I was wondering why the fuck he was even there.

On the plus side however the movie looks fucking great. The costumes and sets are really nicely designed and detailed, the weapons are inventive, there's plenty of blood and dismemberment and the fight choreography is great. The dialogue isn't the best but whether this is done purposely to reference those cheesy kung fu flicks of old I can't be sure. There are also a heap of film references in here to if you keep an eye out. The overall style of the film is heavily reminiscent of some of Tarantino's work especially KILL BILL (the inclusion of Lucy Liu doesn't help) as well as classic kung fu films and anime. The fight scenes involve a lot of that physics-defying action that you see in a lot of martial arts films and the crazy hair and eyebrows bring back memories of watching that cheesy fucking TV show MONKEY MAGIC.

So the story may not be great, the dialogue and acting may be sub-par and the main character is an emotionless bore, but personally I think the entertainment factor and the sheer ludicrous fun easily make-up for these flaws. If you're a fan of classic kung fu films you're in for a treat, as long as you don't take this movie too seriously. It's far from the best movie I've seen this year but it's far from the worst as well. Would I watch it again? Probably. Would I recommend it to my friends? Easily.