ALIEN APOCALYPSE (2005) Review

Directed by: Josh Becker

Starring: Bruce Campbell, Renee O'Connor, Remington Franklin

I'm always up for watching a film with Bruce Campbell in it. From THE EVIL DEAD to MY NAME IS BRUCE to MANIAC COP I have to say that I haven't found any of his movies to be overly terrible.

I'm actually surprised it's taken me this long to see ALIEN APOCALYPSE because I've heard so much about it, mostly about how terrible it is. I decided it was time to finally find out for myself.

ALIEN APOCALYPSE bears a striking resemblance to PLANET OF THE APES. A small group of astronauts have been in cryo-sleep while on a probe mission for 40 years. Their ship has finally crash landed on Earth and they step outside only to be greeted by what looks to be a post-apocalyptic wasteland. They soon discover that aliens have invaded and are using the human population as slaves and bounty hunters. After an altercation with said bounty hunters, the astronauts are captured and taken to a nearby sawmill to be put to work. After meeting the local slave population they are given the lowdown on all the excitement they missed while in space. It seems that the aliens landed about 20 years earlier and have been using the planet to supply themselves with their primary food source which just so happens to be wood (although they don't seem to mind a bit of human flesh on the side). Rumors that the president of the US is still alive and gathering a fighting force in the mountains encourages astronaut and doctor Ivan (Campbell) to seek him out and help lead the rebellion against the alien overlords. Ivan used his charisma, passion and medical skills (it seems that in the future anybody can be fixed with a little chiropractic work) to recruit more humans as he strives to both free the human race (including his romantic interest Kelly (O'Connor)) and become known as 'The Great Healer'

ALIEN APOCAYPSE has some horrible effects, a terribly written script and some dreadful acting, but it seems that most of this crappiness was intentional. I can't imagine otherwise. If you love this special breed of shockingly bad sci-fi film then you will love this. With all of its flaws (there are many) it is somehow an enjoyable film though and probably best enjoyed with a few friends and lots of alcohol.

THE DESCENT (2005) Review

Directed by: Neil Marshall

Starring: Shauna McDonald, Natalie Jackson Mendoza, Alex Reid

I was pretty excited to see this movie. I'd read plenty of positive reviews and it was written and directed by Neil Marshall who was responsible for one of my favorite werewolf films Dog Soldiers. Unfortunately The Descent didn't really do it for me.

A group of female friends get together for an annual adventure vacation. Sarah (Shauna McDonald) has been lured to the United States along with her friend Beth (Alex Reid) to go on a caving (or spelunking, if you prefer) trip with their old friend Juno (Natalie Mendoza). After explaining that the cave is an exceptionally easy and safe descent, they arrive to find that Juno has lied. It turns out that the cave is actually unmapped and as far as everybody knows, unexplored. But they decide to go anyway.

Not long after the enter the cave though, there is a rockfall and they find themselves trapped with no map and limited supplies. But that isn't the worst part. It turns out that they're not alone in the cave, and the other inhabitants are hungry...

If you've seen Dog Soldiers, then you'll know the general outline. The film starts off with a couple suffering a traumatic event, (in this case a car accident) then the film flashes forward to a group of people in a remote location (although this time it's women and they are in a cave) and then they soon find that they are facing a terrible non-human enemy (not werewolves this time). But that is where the similarities end. Not only do the women have to battle monsters, but they also have conflicting personalities which causes trouble. Juno is the strong fearless leader type, whereas Sarah is a traumatized woman trying to get her life back together (how ironic).

The cave sets the right kind of atmosphere for a horror film, dark, claustrophobic and creepy (I found it to be a little too dark at times). The acting is fine, but nothing spectacular. There is plenty of tension. All round it is a good solid horror flick, but I think after all of the hype it just seemed to fall a bit short of my expectations. It's definitely worth a watch but don't expect too much.