MEGAFORCE (1982) Review

Directed by: Hal Needham

Starring: Barry Bostwick, Michael Beck, Edward Mulhare, Henry Silva

"There has never been a super hero like Ace Hunter!" So reads the tagline for this futuristic action turkey, and in all honesty it's probably true. Let's just hope it's also true that there will never be a super hero like Ace Hunter ever again. Ever.


I imagine that as a teen in the 80s when this movie was released I probably would have loved it. At that age I wasn't so concerned with things like good acting and writing as much as I was about action, explosions and big stunts, and this movie has plenty of those. Unfortunately I wasn't a teen when this movie first came out, hell I wasn't even born when this movie was first released and so I'm reviewing this film for the first time at age 25.

The MEGAFORCE of the movie’s title is some sort of underground organization led by Commander Ace Hunter (a seemingly very miscast Barry Bostwick), fighting for peace and justice and all that jazz. When freedom is threatened MEGAFORCE are the ones to call, and that’s exactly what happens when Duke Guerera (Silva) and his rebels begin an invasion. General Edward Byrne-White (Mulhare) and his associate Zara (Persis Khambatta) meet with Hunter and his MEGAFORCE team to come up with a plan to stop Guerera and his army of rebels.

Perhaps the best way to describe this movie would be to say that it is essentially a live-action cartoon, something like G.I. JOE maybe. Everything is done in a very cartoonish, almost comic book style from the vehicles to the tight spandex jumpsuits, the rockets, lasers and explosions and even Ace Hunter’s rock solid hairdo. It’s easy to see that the target audience for this movie was children and teens rather than adults, and you know what? I'll bet kids back in the day loved the shit out of this movie, I know I would have. And I'll bet even nowadays people who grew up with MEGAFORCE can still watch it and enjoy it because it reminds them of the childhood. I however won’t be looking at this movie with rose-colored glasses.

Director Hal Needham is well known for his stunt work and it really shows here, there are so many scenes showing off the MEGAFORCE crew doing wheelies on their motorcycles while simultaneously firing missiles and speeding around in the dirt. But as cool as that may sound (motorbike missile wheelies? AWESOME!) the majority of the action scenes in this flick are pretty damn underwhelming.
But then again a child in the 80s would probably think that they were the motherfucking bomb.
One thing however that even a kid in the 80s couldn't fail to notice is just how horribly bad the bluescreen work towards the end of the film is. I would go out on a limb and say it is the single worst use of bluescreen I have ever seen in my life. Some may argue that it’s so bad it’s good, but I really can’t swallow that. It’s just plain bad.

And speaking of bad let’s talk about every other aspect of the movie. Even with a $20m budget (which in 1982 would have been pretty damn sizeable) the movie manages to look cheap mostly due to the horribly dated vehicles. The motorcycles with their oversized guards and orange and white and black paint jobs are futuristic in a way that only the 80s could produce. And who the hell decided that motorcycles were so damn good in the first place? Surely such a well funded and organized group such as  MEGAFORCE would have something a little more substantial and heavy duty than dirt bikes and dune buggies. Even Guerera’s rebel army have themselves a nice bunch of tanks.
And while we’re on the subject of Guerera we might as well talk about Henry Silva who is really the only character I enjoyed seeing on screen. Although I must admit I like him in pretty much everything I've seen him in. The rest of the cast do a great job of laying on the campy overacting nice and thick. And Ace Hunter’s little thumbs up freeze-frame (below) to finish off the movie? Fucking puke.

In all honestly I would have loved to see this as a kid because I know I would have enjoyed the absolute shit out of it. It’s nothing but a flashy, cheesy, brainless action fest filled with stunts and lasers and explosions and if you watch it as such you should at least find some entertainment value in it. But as far as being a good movie goes, it just simply isn't  The campy overacting, the painfully bad dialogue, the amazingly tight spandex jumpsuits and the ‘futuristic’ vehicles all make for a pretty terrible film. MEGAFORCE is pure MST3K fodder and is probably best seen with a few drinks and a few friends so that you can all share in its hilarious badness. I'm giving this three stars only for the film’s cheesily ridiculous entertainment value.

Horror Feast: Post Apocalyptic Trash

What better way to celebrate surviving the end of the world than to sit back and watch some post apocalyptic trash? But rather than rewatch classics like ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK or MAD MAX (both of which I fucking love) I thought I'd instead watch some of the many films which came out in the 80s in a bid to cash in on the post nuke craze.

1990: THE BRONX WARRIORS (1982)

The first film in Enzo G. Castellari's BRONX WARRIORS trilogy borrows heavily not only from the John Carpenter classic ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK, but also films like THE WARRIORS and even A CLOCKWORK ORANGE. The Bronx have been been cordoned off from the rest of society and with no law and order they have been declared a kind of no-man's land, ruled by the various gangs which inhabit the area. One of these gang's are a group of bikers led by their fearless leader Trash, and when the daughter of a large corporate president winds up in the Bronx, Trash takes it upon himself to protect her.
It's obvious the gangs are supposed to be cool and menacing in that WARRIORS style but between the ridiculous outfits, face paint and choreography they just come off as silly. A tap dancing gang? Really? However if you can look past the flaws (of which there are many) there are a few good scenes in here and this is a great film to watch and have a laugh with a few friends and a few beers. There are also a few nice additions to the cast with George Eastman (who is in a LOT of these post nuke movies) and blaxploitation legend Fred Williamson.

ESCAPE FROM THE BRONX (1983)

The year after BRONX WARRIORS was released this sequel came along with the return of director Enzo G. Castellari and a couple of the original cast members; most importantly Mark Gregory who steps back into the role of Trash. 10 years on from the events of the first film and things in the Bronx aren't looking so good.
The GC Corporation has plans to demolish and rebuild the entire area to make it nice and liveable again, but first it needs to vacate the inhabitants. Disinfestation squads are sent in to wipe everybody out to make way for demolition. But of course Trash doesn't take kindly to this idea and along with a group of underground thugs they come up with a plan to kidnap the President of the corporation.
The whole movie is action packed and full of explosions, gunshots and flame throwers. Although there is barely any gore the body count is huge and there's plenty of slow-motion bodies flying through the air. It's still cheesy and full of the things which made the first movie so terrible (and awesome) but I'd have to say that this sequel is a lot more entertaining that the original. If you liked the first movie then you'll probably appreciate this too.



THE NEW BARBARIANS (1983)

Even though these three films are referred to as the Bronx Warriors Trilogy, THE NEW BARBARIANS (aka WARRIORS OF THE WASTELAND) really isn't connected at all apart from having the same director and some returning cast members, namely Fred Williamson and George Eastman. And this time around it seems that Mr Castellari has decided to rip off George Miller's THE ROAD WARRIOR.
A group of wasteland warriors who call themselves the Templars are on a mission to exterminate all surviving humans as punishment for being born, or something. Luckily for everybody else Mad Max Scorpion and his pal Nadir have come to save the day!
Things to look out for here are the ridiculous Templar outfits with huge shoulder pads, the strange rape scene and of course the fact that everything seems to be spray painted silver to look more er... futuristic. The best thing about the whole movie? The awesome electro soundtrack from Goblin's Claudio Simonetti. The movie is worth checking out for that alone.

SHE WOLVES OF THE WASTELAND (1988)

Most post apocalyptic films are dominated by men, but SHE WOLVES (aka PHOENIX THE WARRIOR) is the exact opposite. The entire male population of Earth has been wiped out by some type of bacteriological virus and has left only small tribes of female warriors to fend for themselves in the wasteland. One tribe is led by the mystical (and fucking hideous) Reverend Mother who has discovered that a woman named Keela is pregnant with a male child. She sends her right hand woman Cobalt (Persis Khambatta from STAR TREK) to find the child so that the Reverend Mother can become all powerful and create some sort of super race. Phoenix (Halloween 4's Kathleen Kinmont) takes it upon herself to protect Keela and her child.
This is a terribly written and acted film full of cheesy scenes. On the plus side we get to see topless babes bathing underneath waterfalls and some pretty neat girl on girl fighting. Unfortunately the ending is just about as underwhelming as you could expect.



2019: AFTER THE FALL OF NEW YORK (1983)

Yet another film trying to cash in on ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK, complete with a Snake Plissken lookalike and a bunch of PLANET OF THE APES rejects. The protagonist Parsifal (yes that's really his name) is sent into the bowels of New York in search of what just may be the only fertile woman left on the planet. Success will grant him a seat on a space flight so that a new colony of humans can begin on a distant planet. George Eastman appears for the third time on this list, this time as the leader of a group of ape people.
Nobody quite makes these rip-off exploitations movies quite like the Italians did in the 80s and 2019 is a fun film with a lot of action, violence, gunfights and a nice synth score.
In all honesty the film is pretty lousy in regards to writing, acting and most other areas, but it's a nice addition to the Italian post nuke exploitation genre and has its fair share of enjoyable scenes.