MONSTER BRAWL (2012) Review

Directed by: Jesse T. Cook

Starring: Dave Foley, Art Hindle, Robert Maillet

Creature mash-ups are always an interesting concept and have been around since way back. From FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE WOLFMAN  to ALIEN VS. PREDATOR and even the Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash comic books. But MONSTER BRAWL is quite possibly the biggest monster mash of all.

Presented like a televised wrestling or boxing match, MONSTER BRAWL brings an array of movie monsters together (Frankenstein’s monster, the Wolfman, a zombie and a witch among others) and pits them against each other in a series of fights until only two remain to brawl for the Heavyweight championship. As far as story goes that’s about it. In between matches there are short introductory sequences for each creature but they aren't much more than just filler.

I will admit that after I read the synopsis for this movie I thought it sounded pretty fucking badass. I had mental images of the combatants tearing each other open, dismembering each other, beating their opponents to death with their own disembodies limbs and other such graphic delights. 

So when the first fight was about to begin, I sat in anticipation of the imminent violence… and was extremely disappointed. 

The fights are incredibly unspectacular, which is a shame because they’re the whole concept on which this movie is built. If the fights were as good as I was expecting then I could have easily forgiven MONSTER BRAWL for some of its other shortcomings. But no, each match seemed to be just as dull as the one preceding it. Even the final heavyweight championship bout (which you would expect to be the climax of the film) was decidedly anticlimactic. That’s not to say that there weren't some interesting and clever moments (the mummy using his sun-god amulet to burn his vampire foe’s flesh for example) but they were few and far between. On a more positive note, there were a lot of neat looking make-up and practical effects and there is a little gore although I would have loved to see more.

One interesting aspect I have to mention is the use of Lance Henriksen’s voice. When the opening credits revealed his voice would be involved I thought he may have been commentating the fights, but instead he provides brief comments in a Mortal Kombat style which are peppered throughout each of the fights.

All in all MONSTER BRAWL is just big, stupid fun. It’s easy to sit down with a few beers and be entertained but it is a shame that the scenes which make up the core of the film (the fights) are not nearly as spectacular as they could have been. And let’s be honest, when you sit down to watch a movie about mythical creatures fighting it out in a boxing ring in the middle of a cemetery, you’re not going to expect groundbreaking cinema. MONSTER BRAWL is a fun concept but ultimately flawed in execution, nevertheless it’s entertaining enough to check out if you’re a fan of creature features.

UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING 3D (2012) Review

Directed by: Måns Mårlind, Björn Stein

Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Michael Ealy, India Eisley

Let’s be honest, nobody goes to see an UNDERWORLD movie expecting to see great acting or a spellbinding story do they? I know I don’t, in fact there is really only one reason I have seen any of them at all. Kate Beckinsale in skin-tight black latex is that reason. She’s also the reason I completely skipped the third film. Sure, it still had an attractive female lead clad in latex but it wasn’t Kate so it wasn’t for me. AWAKENING is the fourth film in the franchise so by now audiences should have a good idea of what to expect. Vampires, lycans, gunfights, explosions and physics-defying action scenes have been a staple of the previous films and AWAKENING is not much different.

Selene (Beckinsale) explains through narration her plan to meet up with her hybrid lover Michael so that they can escape together, but unfortunately things don't go to plan. A grenade explodes and everything turns black. Cut to the present where we see Selene frozen in a lab, but it looks as though somebody is trying to free her. After thawing out she manages to escape the Antigen laboratory where she has been trapped for 12 years. Soon she begins having visions, as though she is seeing through somebody else's eyes and so she assumes it is Michael and goes to look for him. Along the way she is pursued by both lycans and humans but soon runs into another vampire David who helps her look for Michael. But instead of finding him, they discover somebody else who has a strong connection to Selene.

The biggest difference between AWAKENING and the previous films is that the existence of vampires and lycans is now common knowledge and during the time Selene has been imprisoned, vampires and lycans have almost been wiped out. Now not only does Selene need to worry about the threat of the remaining lycans but also her human pursuers.

Just like the previous movies, AWAKENING is very visually focused. And the 3D elements are done really well. Lots of well choreographed, flashy, over the top fight scenes, heaps of muzzle flare and explosions, shattering glass etc. It's probably just to distract people from the scant plot. The movie travels at a rather quick pace and is action packed almost the whole way through. What there is regarding story is pretty weak and just seems like a way to hold the multitude of action sequences together, but then again story has never been a strong point in the UNDERWORLD films. What people want to see is Kate Beckinsale looking sexy and kicking some ass, and she does both of these things well.

THE CABIN IN THE WOODS (2012) Review

Directed by: Drew Goddard

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Kristen Connolly, Jesse Williams

Since THE CABIN IN THE WOODS is one of those movies where you're better off going in knowing as little as possible, I won't say too much and so this will be a pretty short review.

The movie starts off in possibly the most cliché way imaginable. Five young friends are preparing for a trip to a cabin deep in the woods, to get away from everything and basically chill out. The characters represent what you might expect to see in any of the FRIDAY THE 13TH films, there's the amorous couple, the stoner, the nerdy nice guy and the shy 'virgin'. On their way to the cabin they come across a run-down, backwater gas station where they are met by a run-down, backwater man. Vague and ominous warnings are of course ignored and they continue on their way. They finally arrive and get settled in, but once the cellar door is flung open, shit starts to get crazy.

As I said this will be a short review because I know if I say too much it could easily spoil the movie.First of all I'll say that this is definitely not what you're expecting. It starts out cliché as fuck, but soon everything is completely flipped on its head. It's not a particularly scary movie although it is absolutely full of elements you would find in just about every horror movie you've ever seen. Parody, cliches and stereotypes are all used here but they are used in such a way that brings a really different vibe to the film.

There's a nice blend of horror, sci-fi and comedy here, and lots of surprises to be had. You'll also undoubtedly see lots of references to other horror films along the way. And if you look deep enough you may even get a clear view of the metaphorical, philosophical side of the film. This actually hit me a couple of days after initially watching it, and it is honestly really, really clever.
As for the technical side of the movie, it's actually pretty damn good. It looks great, it sounds great, the acting and writing are both good and the pacing is nice. Makeup and practical effects look awesome although there is a sudden burst of CGI which I could probably have done without.
The best part about it though is that it's something new. Something different. And that's as good a reason to go see it as any. Highly recommended.

SIMONE (2010) Short Film Review

Directed by: Joops Fragale

Starring: Erin Nicole Cline, Jennifer Ward

After being impressed by DATE NIGHT the prospect of watching another short film from 386Films was looking pretty good and I'm glad to say that SIMONE actually exceeded my expectations.

Simone (Ward) wakes up disoriented and seemingly very hungover. She is naked, her makeup is smeared and there is a half full bottle of vodka beside the bed. All of these pieces seem to suggest that she had herself a hell of a good night, even though she may not remember it. But then Simone starts to feel really ill and a series of flashbacks piece together a night which did not end well at all.

Both actresses do a great job and although there is minimal dialogue the film moves along fluidly, building tension until the big reveal at the end. The cinematography is brilliant, the use of lighting and camera angles make this film engaging from beginning to end. The only real criticism I have is regarding the very final moments of the film which I felt was a little too revealing and I think it could have been left out to leave a little to the viewers' imagination. Having said that though, it really isn't a big deal and doesn't detract from the viewing experience at all. There may also be a continuity problem or two but really what film doesn't have at least one of those? Apart from those minuscule problems the film is almost flawless.

SIMONE is a brilliant short film that delivers on style, tension, atmosphere and blood and it has only reinforced my love for short films. The softcore lesbian scenes are also a bonus. And even more good news is the fact that you can purchase SIMONE on dvd with a massive 85 minutes of bonus features including a commentary by producer Michael Long and director Joops Fragale, an on-set interview, 'Behind the Bitch' featurette and much more. Highly recommended.