ANTIVIRAL (2012) Review

Directed by: Brandon Cronenberg

Starring: Caleb Landry Jones, Sarah Gadon, Malcolm McDowell

The world showcased in ANTIVIRAL is perhaps a terrifying look at our not so distant future. Celebrity obsession has reached an all new high and televisions display around the clock footage of celebrity lives. Newspapers and magazines are rife with the latest celebrity scandals and people everywhere are discussing the latest rumors about the genitals of the rich and famous. But that’s far from the worst of it. Clinics have been set up to satisfy the community’s celebrity cravings by offering injections so that average folk can have a little bit of their favorite celebrity inside them until the day that they die. Syd March (Landry Jones) is a technician at one such company, The Lucas Clinic. During business hours he harvests viruses from high profile celebrities and then infects the clinic’s clients with them. After hours he smuggles the latest and greatest viruses out by infecting himself so they can be sold on the black market. But this extra side business eventually ends up with Syd being infected with a very deadly virus and he is going to need to uncover its secrets and origins before he becomes its next victim.

ANTIVIRAL takes the idea of celebrity obsession and asks the question; how far would you be willing to go to get as close to your idol as you could? In the film’s world some people are so fanatical that they are actually lining up to spend their money just for the chance to be infected with designer diseases straight from their favorite celebrities. Others take a trip to the local butcher to buy thick slabs of grey, unappetizing looking meat created from the muscle cells of these very same celebrities. And as disturbing a concept as this may be, the one thing I found a lot more disturbing is that it wouldn’t be too far a stretch of the imagination to think that there are some people who would be willing to do this in our own, real world.

Think about it. Some people spend a fortune on plastic surgery to look like their idols; others cut themselves in the name of their celebrity heroes, and then of course there are others still who break into the properties of the famous and stalk them. Is it really that far-fetched to believe that there are people willing to be infected with the herpes virus of flu virus taken straight from their chosen celebrity? Sadly I think not.
But then not a lot of people could honestly say that they are completely innocent of celebrity worship. Gossip magazines sell like hotcakes and people spend hours online trying to find the juiciest scandals about athletes and film stars. I myself have plastered my walls in posters of my favorite musicians and just a few months back I clambered at an opportunity to get a photo with the Soska sisters. But I like to think that I have a healthy respect for talented celebrities which is a far cry from following them around or going through their trash to find a used tissue that I could treasure for the rest of my sad life.

But anyway that’s enough about me. Let’s get back to the film.

ANTIVIRAL begins with a great establishing scene in which a young man enters the Lucas Clinic and patiently waits for his appointment. He has come to be infected by a strain of the herpes virus obtained from his favorite celebrity Hanna Geist (Gadon). Syd informs him that Hanna’s virus first appeared on the right side of her mouth, so if he were to be infected on the left side of his own mouth it would be the closest thing to being kissed by Hannah. The look on the young man’s face and his reaction perfectly convey the level of obsession and fanaticism displayed throughout the film.

ANTIVIRAL is Brandon Cronenberg’s feature debut and being the son of respected director David Cronenberg I was a little worried that his father’s style would be heavily borrowed from in Brandon’s work. Fortunately it seems that is not the case because it’s obvious that Brandon has in fact done a great job at crafting his own style and apart from the obvious influence of his father in the body horror department the film stands on its own as an original and stunning piece of work. The medical theme is extended throughout the whole film and we witness stark white-walled rooms, minimalism and a lot of symmetry. The use of color is brilliantly conceived with contrasting reds used as lipstick and blood and there is some really nice cinematography as well.

Caleb Landry Jones is front and centre in ANTIVIRAL and his performance is easily the most impressive. Over the course of the film he undergoes a complete physical and emotional change and his portrayal of Syd’s downward spiral is breathtaking and agonizing to watch. Sarah Gadon plays the celebrity Hannah Geist and although most of her scenes are spent lying ill in bed she puts on a suitably fragile and vulnerable performance. Malcolm McDowell also makes an appearance as Hannah’s doctor and as usual does a nice solid job.

ANTIVIRAL is quite a slow film but its well crafted visuals make every minute of it a delight to watch and its drony score is a perfect companion to the on screen images. With some solid performances all round, great cinematography and twisted body horror ANTIVIRAL is one film I found exceedingly enjoyable and I look forward to Brandon’s next film. It’s by no means a perfect film but for a debut is quite stunning and slick and so I give ANTIVIRAL eight celebrity steaks out of ten.

THE ABCs OF DEATH (2012) Review

Directed by: All of these people

Starring: All of These people

26 directors from around the world. 26 letters of the alphabet. 26 different short films. When I first heard about this it sounded to me like a simultaneously good and bad idea. Good because in general I'm usually a fan of anthologies but bad because having such an array of different directors means that every segment will be different and therefore not to everybody’s liking. For example fans of Ti West aren't necessarily going to be into the more bizarre style of Noboru Iguchi. But by the time the credits rolled I think I can at least say that I had been thoroughly entertained even if I didn't enjoy every segment.

The concept for this anthology is simple. Each director was given a certain letter of the alphabet, a 3 or 4 minute time limit and the theme of death. Aside from those constraints they were given complete freedom in what story they wanted to tell and how they wanted to tell it. This resulted in 26 distinctly different shorts ranging from regular live action clips to 2D animation and even stop motion. There’s nudity, sex, violence, surgery, masturbation, torture, comedy and just about everything else you’d expect from such an eclectic range of directors. But while this variety is one of the film’s strengths it is also its weakness. 

The biggest problem for me was that since this anthology revolves around the use of the alphabet and therefore they are all shown in alphabetical order, there is no real balance. You might get a few blood drenched segments followed by an over the top CGI filled clip and then there might be a few slow segments before it starts to get interesting again. A good example would be the crazy fucked up acid trip of “W Is For WTF” followed directly thereafter by the more serious “X Is For XXL” which rather than being just a short film also has a message behind it. The alphabet idea is a novel one but I almost think this would have worked better if they’d ditched it.

The full anthology runs for around 2 hours and I would say that I enjoyed about half of the shorts on offer. So basically I got a solid hour of entertainment out of this which is not bad at all. I can’t really go into any of the clips too much because their short running times make it difficult not to spoil them but I will however list a few of my favorite segments that I think are well worth checking out.

“D Is For Dogfight” was perhaps my favorite of the lot. It looked really clean and crisp and the whole short is shown in slow motion which worked exceedingly well. 
“S Is For Speed” I thought was quite a clever and well done visual metaphor for drug abuse. 
“X Is For XXL” was a nice gruesome clip with a serious and no so subtle message behind it. 
“O Is For Orgasm” – I'm not so sure that I enjoyed this one that much but it looked really fucking cool.
And there are others of course but the less I say about them the more you'll probably enjoy them.

But for every good short it seemed that there was an equally bad or at least disappointing one. Some didn't seem to fit properly into such a short running time, others just didn't make sense at all and some were just plain shit. And if you’re not familiar with Japanese films and directors like Noboru Iguchi then you are just going to think that the few Japanese shorts here are plain fucking bizarre.

THE ABCs OF DEATH is a hard film to recommend. If you’re a fan of anthologies like I am then definitely go and see it because it is essentially the ultimate anthology. If you’re not so much a fan of anthologies or of short films (uber short films in this case) then obviously you'll want to stay away. But if you don’t really care either way about them and if you have an open mind when it comes to different directors and styles then I say go for it. Even if you only enjoy a quarter of the clips on offer that’s still a good half hour of entertainment, and who knows? Maybe you'll discover some talent out there you've never heard of before.

At its worst THE ABCs OF DEATH is an eclectic collection of hits and misses that isn't going to satisfy everybody. At its best it is a delightfully varied sampler of the wide array of talent we have out there in the horror genre. In fact it’s kind of like those Whitman’s sampler chocolate boxes. There’s plenty of good stuff in there but every now and then you bite into one that doesn't taste too good.

AMERICAN MARY (2012) Review

Directed by: Jen & Sylvia Soska

Starring: Katherine Isabelle, Antonio Cupo, Tristan Risk

After arriving at Monster Fest’s closing night and watching Isabel Peppard’s beautifully crafted stop motion short BUTTERFLIES, Monster Pictures’ Neil Foley assured the audience that the next film to screen would be unlike anything we’d seen before. I have a habit of not taking these types of claims too serious because more often than not they turn out to be complete bullshit. However in this instance I’m glad to say that Neil was right on the money because AMERICAN MARY turned out to be not only an incredibly unique and unconventional horror movie but also easily one of my favorite films of the year.

AMERICAN MARY is the latest feature from Canadian directors Jen & Sylvia Soska who broke onto the scene a few years back with their incredible indie film DEAD HOOKER IN A TRUNK which has since become a firm favorite for genre fans. But as good as that movie was AMERICAN MARY is such a huge step up in almost every way. I’ll go over the plot and then get to the rest of what makes this film so brilliant.

Mary Mason (Isabelle) is a young woman making her way through medical school with hopes of being a surgeon. She is doing well with her schooling but finds herself in financial trouble so applies for a job at a seedy club in a bid to make some fast cash. Midway through her interview there’s some trouble and the club owner invites her downstairs to do some impromptu surgery. At first she resists but eventually succumbs to the temptation of five thousand dollars cash in hand. This backroom surgery opens a door to Mary through which she discovers the hidden world of extreme body modification.

As much as the plot might suggest otherwise, AMERICAN MARY does not dwell too heavily on gore. That's not to say there isn't plenty of up close and explicitly graphic scenes, but the Soska sisters know when to hold back so that the main focus is upon Mary and her story'. A story which not only includes some extreme body modification but also a rape & revenge thread and a police investigation and so much more. AMERICAN MARY is indeed an intricate and multi-faceted film but not so much that it becomes too difficult to follow or enjoy.

One of the most interesting and pleasant aspects of the film is the way that the body modification culture is treated with dignity and respect rather than revulsion and unfair judgement, indeed one of the messages the film seems to convey is the idea that people could be accepted and accept themselves for who they are. And this doesn't just apply to her patients but to Mary herself who while she may not have the most stable and conventional lifestyle seems to embrace her new-found identity.

Technically AMERICAN MARY is easily one of the more impressive movies I have seen all year and in particular with regards to its use of cinematography and lighting to create atmosphere. The make-up and practical effects are also top notch thanks to the award winning efforts of Masters FX. And of course I cannot fail to mention Katherine Isabelle's acting which was even more impressive than I would have expected, now there's an actress who deserves a lot more recognition.

Put simply I have not seen a genre film (or film of any kind) in years which I have found this impressive, enjoyable and original and especially with it being only the second feature from a pair of film-makers. The Soska sisters are definitely a pair to look out for in the future and AMERICAN MARY is in my opinion a must see film for genre fans.

EXCISION (2012) Review

Directed by: Richard Bates Jr.

Starring: Annalynn McCord, Traci Lords, Ariel Winter

I can say with complete confidence that EXCISION is one of the most original and interesting films of the year. To call it horror would not be entirely accurate however because although it exhibits elements of horror it works mostly as a drama and black comedy. The fact that this is the debut film (feature of otherwise) from Richard Bates Jr. is incredible and I would say that we can expect great things from him in the future.

Pauline (McCord) is the epitome of unpopularity at her school. Bad skin, bad posture, sociopathic and with a disturbing interest in surgical procedures. Although she exhibits a desire to be a surgeon her academic attitude certainly doesn't reflect it. She is constantly challenging her teachers, faking illnesses and her peers obviously see her as a disturbed freak. At home things aren't much better. Her mother (Lords) acts like a royal bitch most of the time, her father is obviously under his wife's thumb and Pauline's sister Grace (Winter) is slowly dying and in need of a lung transplant. Pauline is friendless and takes part in therapy with the local priest. The film chronicles many things including the volatile relationship between mother and daughter, Pauline struggling with her Atheist beliefs and her desire to do whatever is in her power to help her sister whom it seems is the only person she truly loves. Along the way Pauline visibly transforms from just another seemingly strange teenager to a complete off the rails sociopath, and all the while she is formulating a shocking plan.

As I mentioned earlier I would hesitate in calling this a horror, but it definitely isn't a movie for the faint of heart. The scenes which convey Pauline's fantasy are disturbingly sexual and beautifully macabre and are easily the most striking and disturbing part of the film. They are bloody and disgusting and mesmerising at the same time, and they look fantastic.

McCord plays the part of Pauline perfectly and in some ways brings to mind the title character in Lucky McKee's MAY, albeit much more extreme. Along with Traci Lords she pretty much carries the film in terms of acting (wow I never imagined I'd be saying that about a former adult film star). What surprised me most on the acting side of things however were the brilliantly played smaller roles which included John Waters and Malcolm McDowell.

It's clear that a lot of horror fans probably won't like EXCISION. There is lots of blood and disturbing imagery but nothing scary and it definitely doesn't play out like a horror film. As a macabre, psychosexual thriller and a dramatic comedy however it works really well. It's easily one of the best looking movies I've seen all year and it is a breath of fresh air compared to all of the recycled trash that's been churned out lately. I can see a lot of people having issues with the ending as well but I definitely recommend you check this out at least once.

Horror Feast: Sushi Typhoon

For those who don't know, Sushi Typhoon is a Japanese production company specializing in low budget horror, sci-fi & fantasy films. A collective consisting of directors Takashi Miike (ICHI THE KILLER), Yoshihiro Nishimura (TOKYO GORE POLICE), Sion Sono (SUICIDE CLUB), Noboru Iguchi (THE MACHINE GIRL), Tak Sakaguchi (YOROI: SAMURAI ZOMBIE), Yudai Yamaguchi (BATTLEFIELD BASEBALL) and Seiji Chiba (EVIL NINJA).
If you've seen any of the movies I've just mentioned then you should have a pretty good idea of what you're in for when it comes to a Sushi Typhoon release. For those who haven't, well buckets of blood, absurd amounts of violence and cheap digital effects are the order of the day.
So without further ado, let's get into this shit.

DEADBALL (2011)

As a young child, Jubei discovers the insanely powerful force of his pitching arm when he unwittingly destroys his father's head with a baseball. Needless to say he vows never to play ball again. Cut to a few years later and Jubei is a vigilante, visiting violence upon evil-doers. He is caught and sent to a prison for juveniles which is run by a Nazi headmistress who encourages him to join the prison ball team. But their first match against the ridiculously hot and brutal Saint Black Dahlia girls reveals that this is no ordinary baseball game. Blood is what the spectators have come to see.
Exploding heads, elbow-deep cavity searches, vomit eating, Nazis and robots, this movie has it all. And the lead character Jubei (played to perfection by Tak Sakaguchi) is so awesomely cool that he can pluck lit cigarettes out of thin air any time he wants.
Sure the acting isn't great, the story either, and the special effects are cheesy as fuck, but all in all DEADBALL is a explosively fun movie with plenty of gore and humor and is very entertaining.

YAKUZA WEAPON (2011)

Tak Sakaguchi once more takes centre stage but rather than being a juvenile delinquent with a killer pitching arm, here he plays Shozo the unstoppable Yakuza killing machine. Just like Jubei in DEADBALL, Shozo is almost impossibly cool. Like so cool that he can scare landmines just by glaring at them, or catch RPGs with his bare hands, or stand in the middle of a jungle firefight smoking a cigarette while bullets go whizzing past his head. That cool.
Shozo returns to Japan after 4 years abroad to avenge the death of his father who was a big time Yakuza boss. Upon returning to his family's former headquarters he learns that his father was betrayed. Violence and action ensue. But it's not until he gets a cyborg makeover that things get really exciting. A mixture of ROBOCOP & MACHINE GIRL & that special something that only the Japanese seem to possess, YAKUZA WEAPON is over the top, non-stop action with a huge body count.

HELLDRIVER (2011)

DEADBALL and YAKUZA WEAPON may have been totally bizarre but Yoshihiro Nishimura's HELLDRIVER is on a whole other level. A meteorite has crashed in Japan, releasing a cloud of toxic ash which turns people into bloodthirsty zombies (not technically zombies but whatever). Young girl Kika leads a group charged with tracking down and killing the zombie queen - who just so happens to be her crazy, homicidal mother.
Kika carries with her a chainsaw/katana hybrid; a chainsword (not sure if that's what it's called but it's definitely what it should be called). Needless to say chainsword + zombies = lots of blood and limbs flying all over the place. Other things you will see in this strange fucking movie include a car made out of zombies (seriously), lots of exploding heads, flesh eating, and of course gallons and gallons of the red stuff. What more could you ask for?

MUTANT GIRLS SQUAD (2010)

Tak Sakaguchi, Yoshihiro Nishimura and Noboru Iguchi work together to bring forth the ridiculous insanity that is MUTANT GIRLS SQUAD. It follows young schoolgirl Rin, who on her 16th birthday discovers that she is the descendant of an ancient race of mutants known as Hilko. She sees her parents killed in front of her and is rescued and recruited by a group of Hilko who train her so that she can understand her full powers. After being sent on her first mission, Rin finds herself unable to kill innocent humans and so confronts the other Hilko. Basically this is a bloody, gory riff on the X-Men, full of lowbrow humor, cheap effects and sexy mutant schoolgirls. Their 'super powers' range from claws and tentacle arms right through to titty-swords and ass-chainsaws. And the blood, oh the blood. There is tons of the stuff. It's everywhere, raining down, splattering the camera, shooting out of limbless stumps. So much blood.

CELL COUNT (2012) Review

Directed by: Todd E. Freeman

Starring: Robert McKeehen, Haley Talbot, Christopher Toyne

There were two reasons I decided to check out CELL COUNT. The first is that I thought the poster looked pretty badass and the second is that I heard it being compared to films like CUBE and Cronenberg's RABID. I still like the poster, but while I can see certain similarities between this and Cronenberg's work, this movie just doesn't come close. It has a very promising premise but before long it falls apart thanks to some lousy writing and incoherent plot.

Russell Carpenter (McKeehen) has to make an important decision. His wife Sadie (Talbot) is dying in a hospital bed from an undisclosed disease and her only chance of getting better is for her to be shipped off to an experimental facility where Doctor Victor Brandt (Toyne)  promises that she will be completely cured. However if Russell wants to be with his wife, he will also need to travel to the facility and partake in the experimental cure. When the couple awaken in the prison-like clinic and find themselves with a handful of strangers, bizarre things begin to happen. Could this cure be worse than the disease?

First I'll get to the good stuff. CELL COUNT was made on a relatively low budget, however great care has obviously been taken to make it look as good as possible. The lighting is good, the scenes are crisp and clear, the location is suitably cold and sterile, and the practical effects and make-up look great.

As I mentioned earlier, the premise for the film is an intriguing one. When Russell makes the decision for himself and his wife to take part in this experiment they are unaware of the risks and even seem to have no idea what the experiment will entail. Obviously the only thing Russell cares about is the fact that Dr. Brandt has promised she will be cured. But at what price? At no point does he say that she will be 'healthy' or 'back to normal', just that she will be completely free of the disease. What exactly is he hiding?

And what's up with this medical facility? It's vast, open and seemingly empty apart from the half dozen or so patients. The doctor communicates to them via a P.A system and rarely visits the patients personally.

Something is obviously not right here. This sense of mystery and foreboding has been handled really well and is enough to hold your attention - for a while at least.

CELL COUNT ambles along at a reasonably slow pace which at first is ok. But before too long I found myself hoping that it would pick up the pace or at least break it up with some action sequences. Unfortunately the slow pace continues throughout the film, peppered with little action, but on the plus side it does throw a few unexpected surprises at you.
The writing here isn't exactly what I would call great, and it has characters making stupid decisions and uttering unimportant and useless dialogue at times.
While the practical effects were done really well, there was is scene which incorporates some terrible looking CGI, and while it may have been the only way to achieve such a scene, it was still off-putting.

And finally we come to the end of the film which was a sudden and inconclusive stop. I can appreciate movies which leave you with unanswered questions while the credits roll, but I think CELL COUNT could have benefited from a more conclusive ending. I have heard possible talk of a sequel so maybe this is why the film ended as it did.

AKIRA (1988) Review

Directed by: Katsuhiro Ohtomo
Starring: Mitsuo Iwata, Nozomu Sasaki, Mami Koyama

Where do I even begin? I've seen AKIRA at least ten times, probably more because it is one of my all time favorite films and the single greatest piece of anime I have ever witnessed. And as with the majority of people in the Western world, I have AKIRA to thank for really getting me interested in anime in the first place. In regards to anime this is one of the most important films ever made and introduced an entirely new audience to the Japanese animation style. In fact it's probably more popular in the Western world than in its native Japan.

AKIRA is adapted from the 2,000 page manga (which I haven't got around to reading yet) of the same name written and illustrated by Katsuhiro Ohtomo who also wrote and directed the film. It is set in futuristic Neo-Tokyo, rebuilt from the destruction of World War 3. It's a city of neon lights, technology and science inhabited by corrupt politicians, an oppressive military force, violent street gangs and anarchistic revolutionist groups. It is also a city which is tearing itself apart and as the tagline reads "Neo-Tokyo is about to E.X.P.L.O.D.E"
Shôtarô Kaneda (voiced by Mitsuo Iwata) is the leader of a biker gang made up of a group of misfits including his childhood friend Tetsuo Shima (Sasaki). After an accident Tetsuo unwittingly becomes involved in a secret experimental government project known as AKIRA. On his way to save his friend, Kaneda runs into a group of anti-government activists who are looking to infiltrate the AKIRA project and see what dark secrets the military and government are hiding. Meanwhile the testing performed on Tetsuo has unlocked immense and dangerous telekinetic abilities which he violently unleashes on the world which has oppressed him for so long. It is then up to Kaneda and friends to stop Tetsuo's destructive rampage.

As you can imagine being adapted from 2,000 pages worth of manga, AKIRA is an extremely complex and multifaceted movie, but at the same time it isn't difficult to follow. Condensing those pages down into around 2 hours of animation has most likely resulted in removing any unnecessary and unimportant elements and leaves us with the essentials. Having said that though, multiple viewings will help you pick up on things you may have missed the first time. The film spends a lot of time showing us the relationship between Kaneda and Tetsuo and although they have been friends since childhood, Tetsuo shows some obvious resentment towards his friend because he is always treating him like a child and underestimating his abilities. AKIRA deals with a whole range of emotions and themes including friendship, loyalty, betrayal, corruption, greed, anger and power. Even though this may seem like a lot to take in, the fluid storytelling does a good job of preventing any of this getting too complicated. 

Visually AKIRA is stunning, even after all these years. The night scenes in particular are incredibly rendered and the color palette is immense with around 327 different colors (in fact 50 unique colors were created specifically for this movie). The action sequences are fast paced and visually arresting, from the opening fight between rival motorbike gangs right up to the film's climax.
The soundtrack is another item on AKIRA's long list of positive points, made with a combination of traditional Japanese instruments and more modern electronics such as synthesizers. But what is unusually more effective is the use of key scenes with absolutely no sound at all, just this incredibly huge silence which seems to fit in perfectly with the theme of psychic abilities.

The biggest thing AKIRA is (unfairly in my opinion) criticized over is the seemingly gratuitous use of violence. I'm not sure whether it's specifically the violence or whether it's simply the fact that such a huge level of it has been used in an animated film. A lot of people seem to equate animation (especially anime for some reason) to mean child-friendly, which is often not the case. Be warned this is no slick Disney production, this a dark and gritty film and parents are advised to watch it before letting their children see it.

I should probably finish up now. If I haven't already persuaded you to check this out then I probably never will. AKIRA is more than just a violent animated film, it has been a huge influence on modern cinema and without it you would probably never see the likes of THE MATRIX and countless other movies. It is also full of social commentary and emotion. Some may find it difficult to watch but I say it is undoubtedly a must-see and has earned its status as an absolute classic. And I'll give you a couple of tips. If you get the chance to get this on Blu-ray, do so because it has never looked better. Also stay away from the dubbed version, the lousy English voice acting is nothing but distracting.

THE THING (2011) Review

Directed by: Matthijs van Heijningen Jr

Starring: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Joel Edgerton, Ulrich Thomsen

Sometimes I wish I could erase movies completely from my memory and make it as though I'd never seen them before. I'm not just talking about movies so bad you'd wished you had never seen them in the first place, but I'm also talking about classic films which are remade. THE THING is technically a prequel but in all honesty it might as well be a remake, and as with all remakes people are inevitably going to compare it to the original. In this case it won't be the actual Howard Hawks original movie but John Carpenter's classic reimagining. I try to judge movies solely on their own merits, but comparisons always come to mind and that is why I'd like to erase some films from my memory. So that I can make an entirely unbiased judgement on a remake.
That however is not the case, so I started watching this remake/prequel/ with John Carpenter's movie firmly in my mind and I knew right from the beginning that it would never measure up.

THE THING is touted as a prequel to the 1982 film, but if you read the synopsis without knowing this, it may as well be the same damn movie. The Americans have been replaced by Norwegians, Kurt Russel has been replaced by a female lead, and instead of practical effects we get a mix of practical and CGI. Other than that not much is different.

A Norwegian expedition stumbles upon a flying saucer buried deep within the Antarctic ice. But more importantly they discover the pilot of the saucer, also frozen in ice. They decide to remove a block of ice containing the extra-terrestrial and take it back to the research station. They prep it for transport but suddenly the alien breaks free of it's icy prison and before long it is killing people. To make things worse, it becomes apparent that this 'thing' is not only deadly and powerful but can also assimilate and replicate its prey. It becomes obvious that this creature needs to be destroyed before it has a chance to reach civilisation.

Anybody who has seen the 1982 version of THE THING will find nothing new here at all. The characters and their names and nationalities are different, but since you probably won't find yourself caring about any of them anyway, it doesn't really matter. Rob Bottin's amazing creature fx are gone and in their place is a blend of practical effects and CGI which actually worked better than I thought they would, but still have nothing on JC's masterpiece. And the female lead (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) is definitely no Kurt Russell.
Apart from Bottin's effects, the other thing that John Carpenter's film did extraordinarily well was to pour on the tension and especially the paranoia. Being trapped in a remote outpost with a group of people, and not knowing just who could be concealing a bloodthirsty alien identity is a terrifying concept. Somehow though, this prequel has ditched the suspense and that dreadful feeling of paranoia and instead replaced it with some fast-paced yet still bland chase scenes.
For people who haven't seen '82 remake, they might just find themselves enjoying this and at the very least it will introduce a new audience to the older movie.

The one big thing that really annoys me is the fact that there was really no need for this movie to be made at all. I can't imagine fans were crying out for a back story. It brings nothing new to the table. It's basically the same movie with a couple of new but unimportant elements.

TETSUO: THE IRON MAN (1989) Review

Directed by: Shin'ya Tsukamoto

Starring: Tomorowo Taguchi, Kei Fujiwara, Shin'ya Tsukamoto

This is one of those films you would find almost impossible to describe accurately with just words, just like Begotten or Eraserhead. It really does need to be seen to be properly understood, and even then I can imagine a lot of people would probably find themselves confused. I've only seen it once but I believe a second viewing and even a third would probably be very helpful. 

Tetsuo is based on a play which Shin'ya Tsukamoto wrote, directed and performed in college. It tells the horrific cyberpunk inspired tale of a man known only as the 'Metal Fetishist' who has an insane obsession with implanting and attaching pieces of scrap metal in and around his flesh. It also follows a businessman and his girlfriend who are one day transformed by a brief encounter with this fetishist when they are involved in an automobile accident. The victim in this accident is of course the Metal Fetishist, and believing him to be dead the couple take his body and dump it before fleeing. The businessman soon finds that he is being overtaken by some kind of disease which is slowly turning his body into scrap metal. It becomes obvious that the Metal Fetishist is not in fact dead but is instead masterminding this strange transformation.

This physical transformation is accompanied by bizarre and nightmarish visions and metal filled sexual fantasies. He also seems to form some kind of telepathic connection with his nemesis and soon they are involved in a violent battle.

This is a low budget, black & white experimental movie shot on 16mm film. There is minimal dialogue but the accompanying cold industrial soundtrack is more prominent and important to the movie. The entire hour-long film is a fast-paced visual assault with its stark, high contrast black and white sequences and a ton of stop-motion scenes. The effects are fantastic for a movie over 20 years old, although probably masked by the black & white format. 

TETSUO is definitely a movie which will divide people. Some will hate it and others will love (I love the shit out of it) it but there is really no middle ground. As long as you don't go into this expecting some modern cinematic masterpiece then you shouldn't be disappointed. This movie's strength lies in its stylish, surreal and sometimes horrifying visuals and effects. Also if you do too much research before viewing you may stumble upon a lot of people who have obviously read way too deep into the film and have come up with ridiculous ideas that it has an anti-gay message or is a social commentary on post-industrialism. Just enjoy the movie for what it is, a fucked up and frenetic array of surreal and psychotic imagery set to an underground industrial soundtrack.

I would highly recommend this to anybody who loves Eraserhead and fans of Nine Inch Nails, especially the earlier albums such as Broken. If you can watch TETSUO and not have NIN pop into your head then you have a serious problem.

THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE II (FULL SEQUENCE) (2011) Review

Directed by: Tom Six

Starring: Laurence R. Harvey, Ashlynn Yennie, Bill Hutchens

I really enjoyed the original Human Centipede. It was different, it was disgusting, it was funny, but I also thought that it was a bit too tame. So when I heard that the sequel was going to make the first film 'look like My Little Pony' I was a little more than excited. Then when it was banned in the UK and cut in the US I really couldn't wait to see it. But after this much hype, can any film still live up to expectations? Apparently not.

Martin (Harvey) is an overweight, middle-aged, mentally challenged man who lives with his mother. He works as a parking garage attendant and spends his long hours alone, escaping into a fantasy world via the original Human Centipede movie. He obsesses over it, watches it over and over, and even keeps a scrapbook. He listens to Dr Heiter's instructions and begins to write his own surgical notes, in preparation for his own sick creation.

Soon enough he begins to gather his victims, mostly singles or couples wandering the parking garage at night. With a crowbar across the skull he knocks them out, piles them into his van and takes them to his special warehouse where he plans to create a 12-person human centipede. His crowning achievement however is the kidnapping of Ashlynn Yennie, the actress from the original film. He lures her to town with a fake audition and before she realises it, it's too late.

If you've seen the first film then you will know Dr Heiter was a retired surgeon who specialized in separating conjoined twins. Obviously he had plenty of surgical knowledge and experience, and also the correct tools and equipment. Martin on the other hand is a fat, stupid freak and the best he can do is a shitload of duct tape, a staple gun, a hammer and a bunch of knives. Whereas Dr Heiter had proper anaesthetic, Harvey only has a crowbar with which to whack his patients upon the head when they start to get a bit too lively.

The first hour or so of the film follows Martin as he gathers his victims, finds a place to store them, gathers more victims, fights with his mother and gathers more victims. It is a little tedious and repetitive but I did however enjoy the scenes involving Martin and his mother. Especially when his mother finds his special scrapbook.

The rest of the film is basically the process and end result of making the human centipede.

The violence and gross factor have definitely been turned up since the first film, and there is a lot more blood and shit involved. Watching it in the stark black & white in which the entire movie is filmed, actually increases the impact of the violence I think. The gushing blood is pure black, running down white skin. I did notice a touch of color when the fecal matter made it's big entrance though.

For a person who's seen the first movie this sequel will bring no surprises, no tension, nothing that you wouldn't have already seen. It's just taken the more disgusting factors and increased them. The effects are fantastic though, and the movie looks great in black & white. The acting was perfect and the casting (especially of Lawrence Harvey as Martin) was spectacular. Unfortunately I didn't get a chance to see it uncut, but after knowing which scenes were cut I don't think including them would have made much of a difference to the viewing experience.

It's worth a watch if only for the shock factor, and no matter how good or bad you think the movie is, it will definitely be one which is long remembered.

THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE (FIRST SEQUENCE) (2009) Review

Directed by: Tom Six

Starring: Dieter Laser, Ashley C Williams, Ashlynn Yennie, Akihiro Kitamura

Well I can honestly say that this was definitely one of the more interesting horror films of recent years. With a fairly grotesque and unique concept, this will definitely not appeal to everybody.

A new twist on the mad scientist story, The Human Centipede follows a retired surgeon as he lives out his sick, lifelong fantasy. After a pair of young American women are left stranded during their trip through Germany, they come to an isolated villa where the creepy German Dr Heiter (brilliantly played by Dieter Laser) invites them in so that they may use his phone. But of course that doesn't happen. Instead, the two girls Lindsay (Ashley Williams) and Jenny (Ashlynn Yennie) awaken in a makeshift surgery located in Dr Heiter's basement, along with a Japanese man. Eventually the doctor reveals his ultimate plan. Before he retired he specialized in separating conjoined twins, but now he wants to be the first ever surgeon to connect humans via their gastric systems, creating a human centipede!

Yes the concept is disgusting but strangely enough rather than being repulsed, this movie actually had me laughing a lot. Especially when it dawned on me that the person who was the 'head' of the centipede would no doubt need to take a dump sooner or later, and there was only one place it could go...

The movie is very well written and the actors do a superb job, especially Dieter Laser. And you have to give Ashley, Akihiro and Ashlynn credit, seeing as they are surgically joined from ass to mouth for a large chunk of the film. In my opinion this a definitely a must-see film for all horror fans, although I do admit they will either love it or hate it. I loved it.

And keep your eyes out for the sequel coming soon, The Human Centipede - Full Sequence. Apparently it has a 12-person centipede this time!