Ruschelle Dillon BONE SAI Book Review

Today at work I got a paper-cut on my finger, then when I decided I'd rather not get blood all over my keyboard I went to find a band-aid and in the process I banged my leg into the corner of my desk. On my lunch break I spilled coffee on my pants. Under normal circumstances I'd probably consider this a lousy day and I would probably go home and tell my fiancĂ© how terrible it had all been. But after reading BONE SAI, I have decided that I probably need to re-evaluate my view of what a bad day is and also be thankful that nothing bad happened to my genitals...

BONE SAI follows an American on vacation in Japan. The purpose of this vacation however isn't to take advantage of the sights, to sample the local cuisine or to soak up the country's ancient culture but rather because (and I quote) "Asian women are banging hot!"
Unfortunately for our antagonist things don't start off quite the way he hoped. An incident involving a large Japanese woman, hot green tea and a crotch may sound bad enough but what comes next would eclipse even the most seriously scalded nut-sack.
An earthquake rips through the country and a tidal wave follows. A derailed train forces our unlucky American to join a group of people as they make their way on foot towards the closest city. Unfortunately the nearest city happens to be Fukushima where a nuclear meltdown is underway. And somehow, things get worse.
While taking a piss he is bitten on the dick by a zombified ant. But this is not your ordinary, run of the mill zombified ant, this ant has also been irradiated thanks to the nearby reactor meltdown. Soon his penis mutates and takes on a violent life of its own. Can he find a way to stop the flesh eating monster in his trousers before it's too late?

As soon as I read the synopsis for BONE SAI, I was pretty much sold. Anything which combines the words 'zombified', 'mutated', 'flesh eating' and 'penis' is bound to be an enjoyable read. The story is as crude, obscene and ridiculous (and I mean that in a good way) as I expected, but what I didn't expect is just how fucking funny it would be. This was the first time in a long while that a book has made me laugh out loud.
At around 30 or so pages BONE SAI is quite short but it is easy to read and very enjoyable. It's also well worth the modest price tag. I can't wait to see what Ruschelle comes out with next. Highly recommended.

BONE SAI is available only as an eBook. You can purchase it at Black Bed Sheet.

1 comment:

  1. Better yet, I hear the author is smoking!