6.26.2011

20 Upcoming Horror Remakes - Part 1



1. The Monster Squad (1987)


The Monster Squad is one of my all time favorite movies. Period. I never owned a copy until quite recently, but my cousins had it on VHS when I was a kid and I would watch it every time we went to visit. This upcoming remake is being produced by Brad Fuller, who worked on the shitty Friday the 13th remake and the shitty Nightmare on Elm St remake. I don't like to be a pessimist, but I have no doubt that this is going to suck.




2 Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (1978)


The cult classic film about a group of scientists banding together to save the world from mutated, killer tomatoes is getting a makeover. Kent Nichols and Douglas Sarine, the guys behind the popular web series 'Ask a Ninja' are writing the adaptation, with Nichols making his directorial debut. This was one of those films which are so bad that they are good, so I actually think a remake could work. I guess we'll just have to wait and see!




3. The Birds (1963)


Platinum Dunes is apparently re-doing this classic Hitchcock thriller. It won't be a true remake though, with the story taking a different path than the original. It would be interesting to see what they could come up with using modern technology and effects. But this isn't a remake I'm looking forward to at all.




4. Creature From the Black Lagoon (1954)


No official director for this one, but here's what producer Marc Abraham had to say - 


"We’ve gone through a bunch of different incarnations of scripts, and none that me and my partner were satisfied with. Gary Ross is involved with us as a producer [along with] his wife, Allison [Thomas]. None of us have been satisfied. I think we have a really cool take on the movie now – [a] much hipper, [more] interesting version of it, and we’re looking for a new writer who’s after that. And, in fact, I just had breakfast and I was writing down my notes about it, about how I think it should go. I think we have a really cool take on it. Still set in South America, really a more 'not-a-guy-in-a-rubber-suit'…[it's a] much more psychological transformation, more literary transformation. I think a really interesting idea."




5. Child's Play (1988)


Well at least it's not another sequel. The original film was super creepy, but with each sequel this franchise just kept getting deeper into totally stupid territory. MGM is planning to reboot the series, and the upcoming remake is supposed to take on a more serious darker tone, with a less comedic approach. Also, Brad Dourif is returning to voice Chucky. I'm not getting my hopes up for this one, but maybe it will surprise me.




6. Day of the Triffids (1962)


Rumor has it that Sam Raimi and Mandate Pictures paid 7 figures for the rights to remake this film, which is apparently one of Raimi's favorite childhood movies. This story about intelligent, carnivorous plant could actually be a really great remake, especially if Raimi is as passionate about it as he sounds.




7. Escape From New York (1981)


Breck Eisner, who directed the recent remake of The Crazies, is set to helm this remake also. Personally I don't think this film should ever be remade. I can't see it being improved in any way. But I did enjoy The Crazies so I will give this one a chance, I guess. Rumor has it that Timothy Olyphant will be playing Snake Plissken, which is a totally horrible idea and I hope it is not true.




8. The Evil Dead (1981)


I know, this news makes me feel sick to my stomach too. But maybe these quotes direct from Bruce Campbell will comfort you, at least a little.


"We are remaking Evil Dead. The script is awesome. I will be one of the producers and possibly play the milk man."


"In all honesty, we would all love to make another 'Evil Dead' movie. When that will happen? Who can say - we're all working on other jobs right now. We're not trying to dodge anybody's questions, there just isn't that much to talk about. The remake's gonna kick ass—you have my word."


The big question though, is who will play Ash? There have been a bunch of names kicked around including Sean William Scott and Ashton Kutcher (Oh dear god, please no...)




9. I Walked With A Zombie (1943)


Before George Romero gave us reanimated corpses, this is what a zombie film was. Supernatural evil, voodoo curses and strange rituals. The remake will be titled The Plantation and has been written by Adam Marcus and Debra Sullivan. Producer Oren Koules (Saw I - VII) is also attached.




10. It (1990)


The well known miniseries with Tim Curry as Pennywise the clown is being remade. And I think it is actually a great idea. The good news is that it will be R-rated. The bad news is that they're going to try and squeeze Stephen King's 1000+ pages into a single feature film. I still think it will have a hard time being worse than the original.




Part 2 of this list will be posted soon.

2 comments:

  1. do include the susperia remake and hellraiser, both of which have thankfully been delayed time and time again. escape from new york???? nooooooooooo. an evil dead remake will not work even if bruce campbell says it would..... why bruce?? whyyyyyy????

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  2. I'll try to post the other half of this list tonight. It does have Susperia on it, but somehow Hellraiser slipped my mind.

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